Matchmaker, Make Me a Match
by Relics
Summary: AxS Fluff. Valentine's Day is coming up but it'll be one Seras and Alucard won't forget as a fiesty teenager is determined to bring them together. By ANY means possible!
1. News

**Valentine's Day is coming up! n-n I can hardly wait for it! Not only does it make me feel all fluffy and sweet, things like this fic are spawned. It MAY be done by V-Day, but don't hold your breath...o.O It's gonna be long. Maybe longer than my other fics! Anyways, I have an OC in this fic who will also be in my later fics...If you look at my profile, there will be a note on that! Ok, enough of this, I wanna get this started!**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley...o.o Yup yup yup!**

**Note: A cookie to any and all who can tell me where Harley's last name came from. Here's a hint: Think survival horror!**

**Another Note: I know that Seras will seem a little OOC...everyone will be a little...And the beginning is serious, but I swear it WILL turn funny**

* * *

Seras was depressed. Seriously depressed. And she had no idea why. She couldn't eat, though that was a rare occurance in itself, she couldn't sleep, she hadn't left her room in almost three days, and she just felt bad. She was curled up in a ball on her coffin bed, trying to sleep and failing as usual. There was a knock on the door, but she didn't move. "Come in," She said in a monotone, sighing slightly. 

"Police Girl," She heard Alucard say as he walked up to her. "It's been three days. What's wrong with you?" She didn't answer, keeping her back to him. The elder vampire's normal smirk was instead a frown, a slight note of concern in his voice. He waited a moment before crossing her arms. "...I'd like to hear an explanation, Police Girl. You haven't acted like this in a long time...Drinking your blood has always been a problem...But now you're neglecting your need to sleep? Even **I **have to sleep."

"I don't want the blood," She said, curling up tighter. "And I don't want to sleep."

"Police Girl..." He warned, frowning again. "I won't put up with this. Don't you realize you're only hurting yourself?"

"Then let me," She growled, ignoring the sharp prick in her mind as he expressed his displeasure. "Leave me alone, Master. Please." Alucard was about to chew her out of this rut she was in. But before he could, he heard his Master summon him.

"This isn't over, Police Girl," He said, starting to disappear. "I'll be back later." Seras didn't say anything, curling up as much as she could before sighing heavily and pushing the button and let the coffin lid come down.

* * *

"You took your time," Integra commented as Alucard walked into her office through the wall. "May I ask what you were doing?" 

"Police Girl's getting worse," He replied, unable to shield the worry in his voice. "It's been three days now, she hasn't gotten any better."

"And you have no idea what might have caused this sudden change in her behavior?" Alucard shook his head, sitting down in a chair. "At least there haven't been any attacks as of late. Then we would really have a situation on our hands." The vampire didn't reply, so she continued. "Anyways, I have some news that involves you."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "It seems we'll be having a guest in a few hours." She smiled as he blinked and looked at her curiously. She took out a cigar and lit it. "You remember little Harley Sunderland, don't you?" At this, Alucard bristled, growling softly. This made his Master chuckle. "It seems you do."

"Of course I remember that juvenile deliquent," He growled, crossing his arms. "Who could forget her!"

"Come now, Alucard. When was the last time you saw her? Three years ago? Four?" Integra chuckled again. "You're the only vampire I know who fears a teenager, and one who actually adores you."

"Adore! I don't think using me for as a target is being adored. I don't think dying my hair pink is being adored. And I sure as hell don't think hiding my guns is being adored." He almost pouted. "And whenever I do anything that makes her upset, she comes running to you and I'm the one that gets in trouble. She's nothing but trouble."

Integra couldn't argue with that. Harley Sunderland was the daughter of James Sunderland, the man who created many, many weapons for Hellsing during the former Hellsing leader's time. In fact, he created Alucard's .454 Casul Longslide. That was his last project before he and his wife, Maria, were killed during a vampire attack. Alucard had disposed of them and found Harley by their bodies, drenched in their blood and crying her eyes out. She was only 5 at the time; She had had no idea of what was going on. Alucard had took her away from that carnage and watched over her until Integra, only 13 at the time, was able to find someone to take care of her.

Since then, Harley had always taken a liking to the vampire, though she had no memory of what happen. Alucard had supressed it for her. She had been alright when she was younger, quiet and shy. But as soon as she hit the double-digits, that all changed. All of a sudden, she became a bundle of energy who loved pranks and sugar, and a knack for creating weapons and explosives. She was now fifteen years old, still as hyper as ever, still as mischevious, but now more headstrong and determined.

She could pull stunts that could make Alucard proud.

Except he was usually the one the stunts were being pulled on.

Alucard sighed. "Why is she coming here and for how long?"

Integra finished her cigar and leaned back in her chair. "Her house is being fumigated..That's at least what her guardian told me..."

"...She blew up a room, didn't she?"

"Yup. She'll be staying her for at least a week, probably more. There was no fire. Just half of the house is blackened," She said, and smiled. "At least now you'll have something to do, since you've been bored out of your mind these past few days. And who knows? Maybe Harley can help cheer Seras up."

"At my expense..." Alucard muttered and stood up. "Very well then, Master. I'll go and tell the Police Girl." He started to turn but stopped when Integra spoke up.

"Alucard. I know that this is most likely none of my business..." The blonde faltered for a split second. "But let's not do anything that may make the Police Girl's...condition...worse. Understand?"

Her only reply was a smirk and a chuckle as the vampire disappeared.

* * *

**Ok, I swear everything will come together...o.o I swear on Father Anderson! And the fluff will show up soon. Anyways, please read and review, I really look forward to writing this.**

**On a totally unrelated note, which Integra pairing do you people like other than IxA? o.o I need to know. Adios!**


	2. Harley

**o.o You know those plans that sound GREAT when you say them aloud, then don't exactly work out when you attempt them! o.o this is the case. -teary eyes- I was planning for this to be at LEAST 5 chapters long when I posted the first by V-day. If you couldn't tell, this won't be the case. But I seriously haven't had any time to type anything up! I've been UBER busy with school, but things should be calming down. Everyone just remember that I have to also type up "Winter Wonderland" also!**

**But, onward to something else! n-n I LOVE all the reviews I'm getting. People who don't even CARE about AxS are just reading it for the pure fact that Harley is in it! Now, let me say that I have NEVER EVER EVER had such a reaction for once of my OC's before! XD!Why do you all love her so much? She's a pyro? She's hyper? She can get away with more things than ANYONE? Tell me, I'd like to know!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing..But Harley ish mine-insert Alucard-like laughter-**

**And ****Whispers-Of-Crimson GETS THE COOKIE SINCE SHE'S CORRECT! SILENT HILL 2! XD!**

* * *

An hour later, Alucard and Walter had managed to "Harley" proof the mansion. This meant that anything that was flammable and/or could cause fire/explosions was put out of her reach. ((And this was actually quite easy, but more on that later..)) So now, Walter and Integra were waitin outside for her while Alucard went back down to the basement to retrieve his depressed, less-than-willing-to-move fledgling. He wasn't exactly thrilled about the task. Oh, he could make Seras move easily enough; It was the commentary that came with it. Seras was usually very sweet, but definetly not when she was like this. 

_One more thing to have to deal with,_ He thought, sulking as he trotted down the stairs, in no rush to complete this task._ As if that demented teen wasn't enough...Stupid kid..._ He walked down the hallway, stopping at the Police Girl's door. _Police Girl. _

_What?_ Came the reply, sounding more depressed than annoyed. No Master, he noticed, and he felt a prick of annoyance. Without bothering to knock, he walked through the door. Seras was still curled up into a ball. She hadn't moved at all. Alucard frowned and took a few steps toward the coffin.

"Get up," He said, looking at her. "Our Master wants us to help greet a..guest that is coming. Both of us."

"I don't want to." The elder vampire's frown deepened. Okay, a little attitude from Seras was refreshing, but now it was starting to bug him. He was the Master, not her. She was supposed to do what he commanded, no questions asked. Of course, she had never been mindless, but right now wasn't exactly the best time to be arguing with him.

"It wasn't a question, Police Girl," He said softly, narrowing his eyes. "I'm telling you. Get up. Now." No reply, no movement. "You're testing me, Polive Girl...And I don't really appreciate it."

"Why do I have to go? It's not like it'll matter if I'm there or not. You're the stronger of us both. And everyone knows it." Alucard was beginning to become angry at her words and the way she said it in a monotone. His patience was waning thin, but he knew better than to get angry. So he decided to try a different approach.

"So you refuse to go?"

"Yes."

"Period?"

"Yes."

"...You understand that under these circumstances, I could break you in half for disobedience."

"I know."

"And yet you still refuse me?"

"Yes."

"...Alright then." In two long strides, he was ather coffin. Without missing a beat, and with a huge smirk on his face, he bent down and scooped up the Police Girl in his arms. She blinked and immediently started to struggle, especially when he threw her over his shoulder and started to walk out.

"Master!" She yelped, trying to escape his iron grip and to no avail. "What are you doing! Put me DOWN, Master, please!"

"Nope," He replied, chuckling as he walked up the stairs. "I won't. But do feel free to struggle; It's very amusing." At this, they ceased almost immediently, and he chuckled more. "Oh, come on, Police Girl! You always ruin my fun!" She didnt reply, sulking as they made it up the stairs and started toward the huge doors that led outside. Seras blinked and herexpression suddenly turned to panic.

"Master! You aren't going to take me outside like this, are you!" She asked, resuming her struggles.

"Why not?" He replied innocently, loosening his grip very slightly. The blonde caught it and fought back harder. Alucard was delighted and finally let her go. She was panting, glaring at him as she ran her hands over her uniform, trying to straighten the wrinkles in it. "What's the matter, Police Girl?"

Seras just continued to glare at him as he got the laughing out of his system. When he did, they both walked outside, though Seras shied a little away from the setting sun. Integra and Walter were both standing on the stairs, Integra smoking a cigar. "Nice of you to join us," She remarked as they walked and stood beside her. "Harley should be here any minute. At least, if she isn't driving." She spotted Seras' confused look and sighed.

"I assume that Alucard didn't tell you. Our guest is a 15 year old girl named Harley Sunderland. She's a family friend and needs a place to stay for a few weeks while her house is...renovated-"

"Because she blew it up," Alucard interjected, crossing his arms.

"-By accident. She's a-"

"Menace to Society.."

"-very sweet girl who-"

"Should be locked up."

"-is very cheerful and kind-"

"Enough to try and spend every waking moment to make my life harder..."

"-and loves to-"

"Do everything in her power to send everyone over the deep-end."

Integra didn't reply to this, trying extremely hard to not shoot Alucard, who was grinning truimphantly. But instead of doing this, she only smirked as a black limo drove up the driveway. The vampire's grin faltered slightly, and he took a little step back. Integra immediently brought up her gun and aimed it for a certain part of his anatomy.

"You make one more move, Alucard, and I **will** not hesitate to shoot. And I don't care if you can regenerate it," She warned, glancing a little over to Seras. She looked depressed, sad, eyes downcast and not looking at anyone. And she was even paler than usual, if that was possible. Integra frowned slightly and sighed inwardly. She couldn't tell what was worse: A vampire that couldn't behave himself, or a vampire that was depressed. Personally, she cared for neither one that much, but she was going to have to deal with them. And now, a teenager who makes Alucard act like a child.

What fun.

The black limo drove up and stopped in front of the stairs. Integra put her gun away but shot Alucard a warning look. He pouted and crossed his arms. She sighed and walked up to the limo, stopping when a door swung open. "INTEGRA!" A girl's voice shouted, and the named woman was suddenly tackled and fell to the ground. "IT'S YOU!"

Seras blinked and looked at Alucard, who was starting to slowly back away from the girl that had tackled his Master. She looked back when she actually heard Integra laughing as she got up, though she blocked the draculina's view of the girl. "And it's you, Harley. It's good to see you after so long," The woman said, smiling, She moved out of the way, placing a hand on Harley's head. "Seras, this is Harley Sunderland. Harley, this is Seras Victoria."

Seras stared at the girl.

She was short; That was the first thing the vampire noticed. The teen couldn't be any more than 4'7 or 4'8. She had black hair that went down to her shoulders, streaked with crimson in various places. Her eyes werea startling bright blue and almost glowing with happiness as she smiled at Seras. She was wearing baggy blue jeans that were too big, faded, and holes in the knees. Her tanktop was solid black except for the words, "DDR Police" written in white in the center. Various necklaces hung from her neck, a few crosses and other signs that she vaguely recognized as egyptian.

_This girl..is 15!_ She thought, blinking. Her size certainly didn't show it, but her style in clothing practically screamed out the fact that she was a teen. _More like atinypunk rocker..._

"Nice to meet you, Seras," Harley said, holding out her hand and smiling brightly. The young vampire hesitated and took the teen's hand, who shook is vigrously. She then looked very hard at Seras, who locked eyes with her and looked away. "Whoa..You're avampire!"

Seras nodded, a little hesitantly. She had been clearly expecting Harley to be terrified of her, but she showed no fear, none what so ever. She neither showed loathing or disdain, just a friendliness that the Police Girl wasn't used to seeing from anyone. "Yes. I am," She answered.

"Alucard is her Master," Walter said, smiling at the teen and ruffling her hair. "It's been a few years, Miss Harley. How are you?"

She grinned. "Doing just fine! Speaking of which.." She looked around. "Where IS Alucard?" Integra nodded her head in the direction of the retreating vampire who was attempting to be discreet. Harley suddenly grinned wickedly and charged for him. "ALUCARD! I'M BAAAACK!"

Upon hearing his "enemy" shouting out his name, Alucard stiffened and looked over his shoulder, one of his eyes visibly twitching. He gulped and held up an arm, which the teenager promptly latched onto like a leech. "It's YOU.." He growled, glaring at her as she nuzzled his arm like a kitten. "I thought you were staying away for GOOD..."

"It's nice to see you too!" She replied calmly, hugging his arm tightly. She was no more than 90 pounds, but she was strong for her size. Alucard could have slung her off though, without a second thought, only problem was that his Master would pump him full of lead without a second thought. Then he'd probably have to deal with Seras telling him how inhumane it was.

But Seras didn't even look at her Master as he tried to shake the girl off his arm without hurting her. "...Get off," Alucard growled lowly to her. She just smiled at him as he continued to rant very quietly. Meanwhile, Integra narrowed her eyes slightly as Harley's guardian, Lukas Anders, climbed out of the limo. The man wasn't as tall as Alucard, being only 6 feet, but he was still slightly intimidating, with dark, piercing eyes and dark brown hair. He was from Germany, and his accent was still slightly thick.

"Thank you for taking Harley in, Sir Hellsing," He said, his voice deep but with a slight underlying note of venom. Seras caught it and steadily watched him warily.

"It is no problem, Lukas. You know this," She replied curtly, her tone professional. "We enjoy her company. She's welcome to stay here as long as she likes." Lukas nodded, smirking slightly.

"If she's any trouble at all, though, do no hesitate to call," He continued, crossing his arms. "You know how she gets..Besides.." He eyed Seras cooly, making her bristle slightly. "It could get..dangerous..."

Integra glared at him. "I have told you before..Lukas...that Alucard won't hurt her. And neither will Seras. They have more control than that. Now, I know you have some business to attend to, so if there is not anything else, please be on your way. We can handle her." Lukas' smirk faltered slightly. He glared at her and climbed back in. Integra watched the limo leave and was about say something to Walter when a very large** TWACK **was followed by a yelp and a thud.

"INTEGRA! ALUCARD HIT ME!"

"I DID NOT! SHE MADE ME DO IT!"

"NU-UH! HE JUST HIT ME!"

Integra, Seras, and Walter sweatdropped a little and sighed. This was going to be a long few weeks.


	3. Questions and Answers

**o.o Wow. Peeps actually like my stories. -teary eyes- You guys have no idea how happy you're making me! XD! I'm getting emails and requests to actually use my fanfiction! .-. Don't think my Inuyasha fans ever did that...Aight, anyways, keep the reviews coming and I'll keep the insanity coming.**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley and the insanity that she does.**

* * *

It took a good ten minutes to calm Harley and Alucard down enough to seperate them. Because after Harley hit the ground and screamed for help, she promtly latched herself to the vampire's leg, refusing to let go and threatening to bite him. This didn't quite have a very postive reaction since he proceeded to shake his leg and make the teenager dizzy. But after Integra shot Alucard's hat off, both of them quieted down, though they kept shooting the other very dirty looks. 

_I've never seen Master act like that..._ Seras thought as the group walked inside. She had the misfortune of walking between the two quarreling persons, and she wasn't exactly enjoying it. She sighed heavily and her shoulders slumped.

"Hey, what's the matter?" Harley asked, deciding the ignore Alucard for now. The teen cringed a little. "I'm sorry, it was because of the yelling, wasn't it?" Gosh, I gotta remember that the big bully ain't the-"

**TWACK!**

"INTEGRA, ALUCARD HIT ME AGAIN!"

"I DID NOT!"

"DAMN IT, ALUCARD, WOULD YOU STOP IT!" Integra snapped over her shoulder, glaring at him. The vampire bared his fangs slightly and sulked, starting to disappear from view. "That's right, go and sulk. Maybe then you can behave yourself."

"Um..Sir Integra?" Seras piped up, looking a little bit guilty. "I don't mean to cut this short...I mean, I'd really like to get to know Harley, but.." She trailed off, rubbing the back of her neck. Integra nodded while the teen blinked. "Thank you, Sir." The blonde vampire gave a very small smile and turned, walking toward the basement. Harley watched her and sighed.

"I'm sorry..I didn't mean to upset her..." She said to Integra, who shook her head. "Wait, I'm innocent?"

"Miss Seras hasn't been...in very high spirits as of late," Walter explained, crossing his arms. "She won't sleep, won't eat. And we don't know why. Don't take it personally, Miss Harley, but I don't think that she'll be up for any of your..antics." He smiled slightly when he said it since it was the only word to really explain what Harley liked to do. Even though she was 15, she was still a little like a child, as in she loved to play games. Though they constantly argued, Harley really loved Alucard since he was somewhat of a playmate and big brother. She'd love anyone who'd spend some time with her and do something fun.

And refused to acknowledge anyone who didn't.

Integra chuckled. "Nice choice of words, Walter," She said and smiled at Harley. "Don't worry about her. By vampiric standards, she's very, very young and hasn't exactly accepted the fact that she's a night-walker. I'm sure she'll be over it soon. But in the meantime, why don't you go get settled into your room?" Harley nodded, taking her backpack from Walter, who had taken out of the limoit after she superman-ed out of it.

"Alright," She agreed, though she sounded a little bit disappointed. "..Do I have to stay in it?"

"As long as you promise not to go and pick a fight with Alucard," Came the reply. She sulked a tiny bit. "Come on, now, you'll be here for a few weeks. Why annoy him to much now when he has a chance to retaliate?" Apparently, this was the right thing to say, and Harley smiled brightly, nodding.

"Yes, ma'am!" She said, saluting and giggling. She happily trotted to her room, leaving Integra and Walter alone, who sighed slightly.

"One would believe she would have calmed down by now," the butler mused. "Yet, it seems like she has so much energy, she doesn't know what to do with herself."

"We have to remember that she doesn't get many chances to actually calm down. That Lukas keeps a leash around her as tight as I keep mine on Alucard. You saw how she completely ignored him when he left. You don't usually do that unless that person seriously pissed you off. And with him, that's quite possible," Integra explained as they walked to her office. Her dislike of the man was quite clear. She agreed on Harley's feelings for her guardian, even if both never voiced their opinion.

"At least you let Alucard have some breathing room," Walter said. "But he doesn't. I feel sorry for the poor thing. I know that you had much duty at her age, but at least you could be yourself." Whenever Harley was around Lukas, she was very quiet, polite, and obedient. Get her alone, and she was wild and hyper.

But happy.

Integra sat in her chair at her desk and sighed again. "Let's just hope she can contain herself long enough for Alucard to calm down.."

* * *

Seras felt a little bad for leaving Harley-She had seen the tiny look of hurt in those blue eyes- but she couldn't help it. She just had to get away from everyone and didn't understand why. She had felt strangely cornered when Harley apologized, even threatened by the bundle of energy possessed by her. 

Seras didn't like it one bit.

But she couldn't help it. True, she felt horrible as she walked down the basement to her room, but soon, the guilt was replaced by a strange ache she had been feeling lately. And, once again, she couldn't explain it. It was annoying. It was a mystery. It hurt. And it was starting to make her a little bit angry. Sure, she never enjoyed drinking blood, only doing so when she saw it absolutely neccasary, but what could be effecting her so much that she couldn't sleep? That she was talking back to Alucard? That she couldn't even be around a teenager that she would normally get along with easily?

The hell if she knew.

Sighing heavily, the Police Girl flopped onto her bed and curled into a ball, wishing for some answers.

* * *

An hour later, Harley was happily hopping down the basement stairs,a bucket full of ice and a blood packet in each hand. She had convinced Walter to let her go and give the two vampires their meal, as long as she behaved herself. Now, she had a chance to talk to Seras and find out what was bugging her. She didn't like seeing anyone down and liked helping if she could. Plus, she had a chance to go into Alucard's room. 

A grin grew on her face as she thought of the elder vampire's heavily protected and secret room. She was one of the few people who'd actually been allowed to go into it. It wasn't that impressive; In fact, it was extremely bland, moody, and too dark for the teenager's taste. She just liked seeing him squirm whenever she checked out his coffin.

Sadistic?

Yes.

Funny?

Extremely.

_But first, Seras' room. Hope it isn't as empty as Alucard's..._ She thought, knocking on the door. "Seras? It's Harley!" She said ina cheery voice. "I got ya blood!" She waited a few moments and a reply and didn't recieve any. She knocked louder. "Hey, I know you gotta be hungry! I mean, sheesh, you guys live off liquids only..."

The heavy door opened and Harley was greeted by a very depressed looking Seras. "Oh...Harley," She said in a monotone. "Sorry. I couldn't hear you."

"That's aight," Harley said, slipping past Seras and into the room. She would have put her hands on her hips if she could, since the room was void of all things she believed any civilized being would possess, such as a television, a playstation, a stereo. She put one of the buckets on the table and stretched. "Aw, that feels better! Those things are heavier than they look! And Walter lugs these things around?"

Seras didn't answer, closing the door and keeping her eyes on the floor. "...I know that they're heavy but...I don't want the blood," She said, quietly, walking over to her coffin and sitting on the edge. "Sorry." She half expected Harley to at least look disappointed, but this did not happen. Instead, Harley just smiled.

"I know you don't want it," She said, sitting down in a chair. "Kinda can't blame you. It seems gross, but hey, I'm not a vampire, why should I complain?" She looked at Seras. "Still, denyin' blood is like denyin' food. Not very bright." She tapped her head as she said this. "And you don't seem like a dumb blonde at all, so what gives?"

Seras blinked, actually looking up, her crimson eyes locking onto blue ones. "My...reason?" Harley nodded. "Well...I...I guess..." She faltered, sighing heavily. "In all honesty, I don't really know. Everyone gets on my case about how I shoud drink..But...I just don't...feel like it."

"Feel like it?" Harley repeated, crossing her arms. Seras noticed a tatoo on each and made a mental note to ask about it later. "No offense...But how can you NOT feel like drinking it? Walter said you haven'tfed in, like, 3 days. Maybe it's cause I've been around Alucard so much, but I don't think I've ever seen him ever miss a meal. Ever."

Seras frowned, lookinga little bit wounded. "That's my Master for you. Of course he wouldn't miss a meal."_ He has no idea how I feel._

Harley stared a her a few moments before walking over and sitting down beside her. "Yo, did he try to do something to you to make you so upset?" She asked seriously. "Cause if he did, I can get him back for you." The blonde shook her head. "...You homesick? Miss being a human? Just feel down?"

"...I don't know," Seras sighed. "I feel a little bit..empty, you know?" _I can't believe I'm opening up to someone I don't even know. But..it kinda feels better to try and explain it. And without having to deal with...disappointment. _In her mind's eye, she could see her Master's dark crimson eyes gazing at her, full of disappoinment and even a little disdain. And it hurt.

Harley nodded, standing up suddenly. Seras blinked as she picked up the bucket meant for Alucard. "Hey, let me go give this to Alucard," She said, smiling again. "And then I gotta go take care of something." She winked. "Thanks for opening up a little. You can trust me. I'll get you feeling better in no time!"

And before Seras could say anything, the teen was skipping out the door, humming UB40's "Falling in Love with You." She sighed a little and then smiled, eyeing the blood and crawling back into her coffin.

* * *

"Alucard! I got your blood and I'm coming in, so you better get rid of all those undead hookers!" Harley announced, pushing open the heavy door with some effort. She was greeted by a pair of annoyed red eyes and smiled in response. "See?" She held up the bucket before placing it on the wooden table. 

"You need some new jokes," Alucard growled lowly, glaring at her. "That's one is getting old." She ignored him, wakling around the familiar room. It was very dark, the only light coming from a few candles, and empty except for a few stacks of books here and there. There were two coffins; One a solid black with some sort of inscription on it about Hermes, and another that looked like Seras'. That one was mechanical, unlike the other, which was the real thing.

"I swear you hide all your porn in there," She commented, pointing to the black one and smirking. "You never let me look and see." His glare intensified, but she was unfazed. "What? Got some gay crap in there? Leather outfits? All that SM deal?"

"You're not funny," He said again, crossing his arms. "But I thank you for bringing me the blood. Now, if there isn't anything else, let me be." Of course, the vampire highly doubted she would. Harley never went down into the basement unless she wanted something. She hated it down there, he knew she did. She may talk big, but she didn't like the dark very much. Even now she was nervous, though her expression didn't betray it.

"I will..." She said, stretching again and taking the blood bag from the bucket. Alucard's eyes widened slightly from behind his sunglasses. "As soon as you tell me what's bothering Seras."

"Saw it coming," He muttered under his breath and glaring at her again. "I don't know. And if I did, don't you think I would have fixed it by now?"

"Nope," She replied, crossing her arms, still holding the blood bag. She glared back at him.

"Why?" He snapped. "She's my fledgling, why wouldn't I take care of her?" He was eyeing the blood bag now, feeling his hunger start to rise. Whether she knew what she was doing to him, he didn't know, but she was playing dirty. He was hungry, but there's no way she would give up the blood bag until she got what she wanted. And if he got near her, he might do something that he'd regret later.

Harley shrugged. "Have you asked her?" He nodded. "And she didn't tell you anything." Another nod. "..You read her mind?" He hesitated but nodded. "...You suck.."

"Oh, shut up, like you can get anything out of her," Alucard snapped again, baring his fangs at her. She smirked.

"Actually, I did!"

"And?"

"...She said she feels empty."

Alucard almost fell out of his chair. Instead, he took off his sunglasses. "Of course she feels empty. She hasn't eaten in a while. I feel empty too, since you're holding my meal hostage..." Harley smirked, holding it up.

"You want it?" She teased, throwing it up a little and catching it. "Then come and get it!" Immediently, Alucard lunged and missed when she ducked down, giggling and running past him. He twitched and took off after her, yelling obsceneties the entire way.

"You've gotten soft, Alucard!" She taunted, running up the stairs with the furious and very hungry vampire trailing after her. She knew that he could easily catch her, but of course, he was too hungry to be thinking about phasing in front of her. "Slowpoke! Slowpoke!"

All of a sudden, Harley's foot caught onto one of the steps and she tripped, slamming into the ground. She yelped in pain and surprise while Alucard made a truimphant shout, reaching for the blood bag. She grabbed it, missed, and ended up on his arm.

"Let. Go," He said, smirking evilly. She glared at him and was about to snap at him when a date on the blood bag caught her eye: 2/14.

February 14th.

Harley suddenly grinned. "Alucard! You're a genuis!" She shouted, hugging his arm and letting go of it, dropping to the floor. The vampire blinked in confusion, watching her run up the stairs toward Integra's office.

"Alucard?" Walter said, walking up to him. "Is everything alright?"

"...I think that Harley just fell and hit her head a little too hard.." Alucard replied, sighing and sipping his well-deserved meal.

* * *

Integra arched an eyebrow when Harley rushed in, smiling and panting. She noticed a tiny bit of red on her knee and a slight bump on her forehead. "...Yes, Harley?" She asked as the teenager ran over, sitting down in a chair. "Are you alright?" 

"Never mind that!" Harley said, her eyes bright. "I just got a brillant idea!"

* * *

**Anyone ever seen Dodgeball? I HIGHLY reccomend it! XD! Ish soo funny! o.o Whoops, back to the subject, yes this ish a cliffhanger, but I hope that's aight. nn I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Oh, and does anyone know a website where I could watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail? If you do, please send me an email, because...Well, you'll have to wait and see! Adios!**


	4. An Idea

**Am I the only person that ever noticed how much Vincent of Final Fantasy VII looks like Alucard and how much Cid looks like Father Anderson? They seriously look so much alike! o.O Tis eerie...**

**Anyways, thank you all for the reviews! You guys are just awesome and I love to see Harley rubbing off on you guys!..And one more thing...I'm also very glad that you guys understand the fact that this is NOT a Hellsing and Silent Hill Crossover. I got two reviews stating that it was...And I got a little upset since they didn't bother to read any of the other chapters. n-n But then I remembered all you other peeps who leave me nice reviews, so I got happy! And the fluff will be coming soon, but Harley's evil little plot must be set into motion.**

**har: n-n I'm evil!**

**o.o Yes you are.**

**BTW, I want to give a special thanks to Jimmy who kept telling me to get my butt in gear and write, and Selenity who deemed this review worthy. And to everyone else!**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley. XP**

* * *

"NO." 

"But!"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT."

"Let me just!"

"NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS."

"Integra!"

"FORGET IT."

Harley glared at the woman in front of her, defiance blazing in her bright blue eyes that was met with the stony look in the darker ones in front of her. She crossed her arms and sulked. "Can I just say what I got to say?" She snapped, a little upset.

"You already did," Integra snapped back. "And the answer is **NO.**" A few minutes ago, Harley had come running in, looking ecstatic though she had a large bump on her head. Which was what Integra blamed for the idea that the teenager presented her with. There couldn't be another explanation for it. The blonde couldn't stand seeing Harley distraught, but there didn't seem to be any way around out.

"There is absolutely no way that we are going to have a Valentine's Day party-"

"-Ball," The teen instantly corrected, earning another glare.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter-"

"Does too."

"And why is that?"

"'Cause ANYONE can throw a party, but a select few can actually say that they threw a ball. It's simple logic."

"You mean twisted logic.."

"Call it what you will, I'm right either way." Harley coudn't hide her smug look as Integra tried to come up with a worthy answer but couldn't. So instead, she took another route.

"Fine. Let's talk hypothetically. If I did throw this little ball, who would I invite? Why would we even be throwing it? Would we have music? What kind? Do we hire a singer or a band? What type of food? Decorations? There are so many questions to be answered, it seems like too much trouble," She explained, leaning back in her chair. "You don't just randomly decide to throw a par-ball."

"Why not?" Harley asked, putting her hands on the desk. "What's the matter with being a little impulsive now and then? I think it could be fun! We could do it for all the soldiers and their girlfriends, or boyfriends, or whatever. I think they deserve as much. And we could invite...Well...What about those Vaticans? That Iscariot thing that likes to mess with you guys?"

"I see Walter has been informing you of some things.." She sighed, looking for a cigar. "Besides. They hate us. Like they would actually come."

"It could be like a peace offering." Integra gave her the evil eye. "Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm being serious." The blonde then shrugged.

"Ok. Fine. We throw it for the Section XIII, the soldiers, various other peoples of importance. That still doesn't seem like a very good reason to put so much time and effort into this."

Integra was starting to give; Harley could tell. She smiled brightly. There was a method to her madness, a reason to her insanity. She rarely did things as radical as this without a good reason, a reason that actually benefited others. "Well, I have one, as a matter of fact."

"Oh?"

She nodded. "I think I know what's the matter with Seras." Integra perked up a little at the Police Girl's name.

"You mean other than the fact she is rejecting the two things both her human and vampire sides need?"

"She's heart-sick"

Integra **STARED** at her. And Harley stared back. "...Heart-sick..."

"Yes."

"..You're telling me...that the Police Girl...is heart-sick."

" 'S what I said."

"..You're..joking..right? She's depressed because she's heart-sick? Won't eat, won't sleep? Can't barely even muster up enough energy to move?"

"Is there an echo in here?" Harley asked, looking around and putting her hands on her hips. "And I am serious. I mean, think about it. She's a vampire surrounded by humans that probably don't see her past anything more than a strong ally. Probably don't even show the littlest bit of concern for her. Wouldn't you be lonely?"

"What about Alucard?" Integra asked and immediently regreted it when she saw Harley's blank look. Because in that teen's mind, Alucard was a stick figure with a hat and large, pointy teeth. "Ok, scratch that question.."

"Wait a sec." She sat down in the chair again, looking suddenly and suspiciously sweet. "From what ya just said, I guess I'm right about all those soldiers. But what about Alucard and Seras? How do they act toward each other? I kinda get the feeling he feels something for her, since he did try to figure out what was wrong with her and came up blank."

The blonde thought about it for a moment. Now that she thought about it, she wasn't exactly sure. She didn't see Alucard and Seras together that much. Then again, she usually just saw Alucard, but that something different. "Well..." She began, lighting her cigar. "It's a little complicated, I suppose with Alucard being who he is and she being who she is. They are alike in a few ways, but those are just a few. They're different from each other, and it shows. Seras still hasn't quite accepted her fate yet, and that frustrates Alucard to no end. He looks down upon her for that. He loves teasing her about her humanity...And she usually doesn't fight back, doesn't retiliate at all"

"But I want to know how they **feel **about each other." Harley had that look in her eye that said the gears in her head were turning, whether it was the better or the worst. Integra suddenly had a feeling about what she was getting at and didn't exactly like it.

"If you're thinking what I'm thinking, there's no possible way," She said, inhaling deeply. "None what-so-ever, so I suggest you stop that litle plan of yours before you get burned. Trust me."

"What plan?" She asked innocently, her eyes smiling. "I'm not planning anything. 'Cept that V-Day Ball..." Integra then sighed, defeated and tired. She wasn't going to fight Harley anymore. It was like trying to convince Alucard not to drink his blood: Not very smart with some nasty outcomes.

"Ok. Fine. You win. I'll do it. BUT," She said as Harley started to lunge for her, "You have to behave yourself, and you have to help with it, and you can't complain about anything. Understood?"

Harley nodded, hugging her briefly before smiling and nearly skipped out. "If you need me, I'll be in my room playing DDR!"

"Dance Dance Revolution?"

"Nope. Death Death Revolution."

* * *

Harley stretched and yawned as she walked down the stairs leading down to the basement the next evening. After her talk with Integra, she had indeed played DDR until at least midnight, which was around the time she nearly passed out from exhaustion. Which had been a huge relief to Alucard, who had found himself humming along to "Butterfly", much to his chagrin. 

She had woke up around eight or nine, got some breakfast and hung out with Walter, groaning about how much it sucked waiting for the night to come and Alucard and Seras to wake up. Walter had expected this and entertained her with his dubbed "Dental Floss of Doom" until Integra had snapped and told them both to go do something productive. So Harley ended up reading some old Stephen King novels until about five, when she truly couldn't stand it anymore.

"Hope Alucard isn't as grumpy as he used to be," She muttered to herself, walking past Seras' door and into the darkness, gulping in spite of herself. Alucard wasn't exactly chipper when he first wakes up; If he has it his way, he'll sleep until ten or so at night. So waking him before sun is set wasn't exactly smart. But she was a girl who liked taking risks, even if they involved a uber vampire.

She pushed open the heavy door and looked around in the darkness, spotting his brown coffin and carefully walking over to it. "Alucard?" She, of course, got no reply and knocked on the wood. "Oh, Alucard! Time to wakey wakey!" She waited for a moment before glaring at the coffin and climbing on top of it.

And jumping up and down. "AL!U!CARD! WAKE! UP! YOU! STUPID! UBER! VAMPIRE! I! HAVE! SOMETHING! IM!POR!TANT! TO! TELL! YO" Before she could finish the last word, the coffin swung open, and Harley found herself slammed into the opposite wall. Which was extremely painful.

While she slid down the wall, Alucard looked around sleepily and glared at her when she was spotted. "What do you want!" He snapped. "I was trying to sleep!"

"Owwww..." She groaned, holding her head, which now had another large bump. "That hurt..Really badly..." She rubbed it furiously as Alucard rolled his eyes, climbed out of the coffin, and walked over to her. "You big meanie...I think I forgot what the capital of Quebec was.."

"Montreal. Now what do you want?" He asked, rubbing his eyes. "And it better be good..."

"Sheesh, I just wanted to tell you what I got Integra to do!" Harley snapped, though it was weakly. She now had a raging headache. "She's gonna through some party for Valentine's Day...We both figure it'll cheer Seras up since you sure as heck-" He hit her on the head. "OWWW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!"

"For being stupid," He replied simply. "That has got to be the dumbest idea I ever heard. A party? How is that going to cheer her up? She's probbaly just depressed because she hasn't gone out in so long." Harley glared knives at him.

"You're the stupid one!" She snapped. "You don't even really know what's wrong with her! How do YOU know she just needs some fun?"

"Okay, smart-ass, tell me what YOU think is wrong with her!" Alucard snapped back, both glaring at each other.

"I think she's just love-sick!" Alucard stared at her like she had lost her mind. "What? I think she is!"

"You've hit your head one too many times.."

"IT'S YOUR FAULT, YOU JERK!"

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ISN'T THINKING!"

"SHUT UP! STUPID VAMPIRE!"

**WHAM!**

"AHHH! INTEGRA! ALUCARD HIT BE! AGAIN!"

* * *

**xx Okay...this is it for now, just because it's very long right now and I am VERY VERY tired...I don't have any sort of remarks right now except read and review...Oh, and the updates will be kinda...wiggy because I have a VERY busy month ahead of me. Thanks for understanding guys.**

**Adios**


	5. Doctor Harley

**Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'm uber glad everyone likes Harley so much. n-n These reviews are probably going to be coming faster now that I have the one thing that I always wanted... -grins- THE HELLSING OSTS! XD! Plus, I have a special stash of pepsis in my room...**

**I posted this in my other story also, but to those who read my first Hellsing story, "Dreams", there will be a sequel to it. I don't know exactly when, though...There are going to be more stories with Harley in it, and I am seriously debating on whether or not I should just go ahead and post it...Decisions, decisions...**

**Oh, and on a random note, I'm teaching myself German!...And it's very hard...-stares at the book and scratches head-**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley. oo Or maybe SHE owns ME.**

* * *

After a lot of struggling and some intervention from Walter, Alucard and Harley managed to be seperated. The vampire was alright except for being pissed off, while Harley had yet another splitting headache and more bumps on her head and a scraped up elbow. She was sulking in the kitchen while Walter applied some disinfectant to the cut. 

"It wasn't very smart to go and wake Alucard up like that," the butler was explaining while she stayed silent and still, glaring a hole into the fridge. "You know how he is...He's going to have to get used to you again. You should probably leave him alone for a while...You're already bruised up."

"Tch. I'll live," She muttered, looking at the cieling. "...He's such a pus-" Walter clamped a hand over her mouth before she could finish the word.

"Harley...I suggest you refrain from calling Alucard any vulgar names, no matter how much he deserves it, at least until tomorrow," He warned, putting a bandaid on her elbow. "The next time you two bumpp heads, we might be in the hospital."

"Yeah, right."

Walter decided to ignore her sulking and changed the subject. "Did you find out what was wrong with Miss Victoria?" He asked and she nodded.

"Before I tell you, promise you won't laugh." The butler nodded. "...I think she needs some fun, she's lonely, she's heart-sick. I mean, no offense, but you guys don't exactly have Chip-And-Dales guys here. Integra said that we could do something for Valentine's Day to cheer her up."

"Why would I laugh at something like that? You're probably right."

"...Because Alucard did..."

"Alucard laughs at anything and everything," Walter sighed, standing up. "Alright then, good as new. Just don't do anything that may make it reopen. Even if it is just a scrape." She nodded, hopping down from the counter she was sitting on. She watched him put the bandages back in the First Aid Kit and smiled suddenly.

"..Hey, Walter?"

"Yes?"

"Can I see that First Aid Kit?"

Walter blinked, handing it to her. "Of course. But why?" She just smiled, giggling softly to herself and walked out of the kitchen.

"No reason!"

* * *

Judging from the screams and curses coming from her Master's room, Seras decided that now was not a very good time to go out of her room. She had slept very little, no more than an hour, but it was better than nothing. Plus, her appetite was there, but barely. Maybe one sip of blood. Probably not even that. The blonde sighed and stretched out her legs, preparing to go and shower when there was a knock at the door. 

"Come in," She said and blinked when Harley walked in, covered in bandages but it was clear that she was grinning. "Harley? What are you-"

"Sh! I am not Harley! You shall call me Dr.H!" The teenager corrected, putting the first-aid kit on the table and pulling out a thermometer. "And I am here to diagnose you!" Before Seras could reply, Harley stuck the little instrument in her mouth and grabbed her wrist, as if checking for a pulse. Seras was very confused as the teenager nodded to herself, humming a random tune, and took out the thermometer.

She looked at it very closely. "Just as I suspected," Dr.H confirmed, nodding her head.

"..What?" Seras asked, going along with whatever game Harley was up to. "What's wrong with me, Dr.H?"

Dr.H crossed her arms, closing her eyes. "You, my friend," She started, pointing at her. "Have been bitten by the love bug."

"..The..what..bug?"

"The love bug!" She pulled a piece of paper out of the kit and showed it to Seras. It was a smiling pink ladybug with little hearts instead of dots on the back. Seras stared at it and back at the little doctor. "It's a common illness most get around the time of February, when the elusive love-bug is searching for people to chomp on. You have all the symptoms: Depression, loss of appetite, insomnia, listlessness. You are heart-sick."

"...And how do I get over it?" She asked, sighing heavily, feeling depressed again. Harley smiled and started taking off the bandages and put them in a pile. She pulled out a pair of Alucard's sunglasses and a clipboard, sitting on the table across from Seras. "...What are you now?"

"A psy...psy...psychiatrist," She said after stammering. "We're gonna beat this one thing at a time." Seras didn't see how this was going to help, but she didn't feel like arguing. "First off...Tell me why you won't drink the blood. And don't tell me because it's inhuman 'cause I've known meaner hamsters than you."

Seras sighed. This again. "...I dont know..."

"Then make something up." She looked at the teenager, who had crossed her arms and looking at her expectantly. "Is it because it's cold?"

The blonde thought about it for a moment. She never was really bothered by the fact it was cold, just the fact that it was blood. And..."..Maybe it's because I don't know where the blood came from. What if I'm drinking some blood that some little kid could need in a hospital? How could I live with that?"

Harley had never thought about this, though she knew the blood came from the soldiers. Alucard had told her this. "So...if you knew where the blood came from...you'd drink it?"

"Yeah. It'd make me feel less guilty." The teen nodded, writing that down. "...Why?"

"No reason; Just curious. Onward!" She said truimphantly before Seras could ask anymore questions. "Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't feel-"

"Bad dreams?"

"No, I-"

"Insomnia?"

"Probably, but-"

"Is the jerk next door messing with you?"

"No!"

Harley blinked a little at Seras' tone but shrugged it off. After being screamed at by Alucard, she could take any sort of screaming. Though, it was very amusing to see Alucard scream. "Screw that problem, we'll figure it out later.." She looked over her blank notepad and took off the sunglasses. "Well, I'm out of ideas!" The blonde almost fell out of the coffin. "But, hey! Don't worry! I'm sure I'll think of something!"

She started putting all her "instruments" and smiling at Seras. "I'll be back later with your dinner. Hate to say it, but you do need to drink a little. You look pale." She bounded out of the room before the blonde could think of a response.

_..What a strange girl..._ She thought and layed back down in the coffin.

* * *

"Alucard! I'm coming in! Better put away all those dirty magazines you loveso much!" Harley shouted at the elder vampire's door an hour later, a bucket of blood in one hand. She had just given Seras hers and left her alone to drink it if she wanted to. Plus, she was still plotting revenge for what Alucard did to her earlier, though now was the chance he could redeem himself. 

Not that he ever did, but at least she could say she gave him a chance.

She opened the door and found herself staring down the muzzle of the gun her Father made. "Ha, ha, very funny," She said drily, pushing it away, an extremely bold move. "Sheesh, if you wanna scare me, use a bigger gun."

The gun cocked, and Harley glared into the darkness where she knew Alucard was. "The vampire's waving around a big, scary gun. Oh, I'm scared. But not scared enough to offer you your dinner." She was about to turn around and march out when she saw Alucard's crimson eyes. She couldn't help but smirk.

"You play dirty," He growled, crossing his arms, though she couldn't see it. "Wipe that smirk off your face-"

"It's not dirty," Harley finished, smiling. They had read the phrase in a magazine once and liked to use it. "So, you going to apologize?"

"Yeah. Right." They both glared at each other. "You had it coming."

"You gave me a concussion!"

"Oh, boo-hoo. Sorry, but my give-a-damn's busted." He caught a icecube that she threw at him. "Now, I'm hungry. You have my dinner. Cough it up."

"Nope. Not until you apologize."

Alucard narrowed his eyes. "We can wait as long as we need to, but I'll win," He snapped, catching another icecube. "I am not going to apologize for you being stupid."

"I am NOT stupid," She growled, twitching. "You're stupid and mean and a jerk!"

"You have such original insults. You must have wrote the book," He replied sarcastically, smirking as he saw the teenager's rage rise. She was close to breaking point, which didn't matter, unless it kept him away from his blood. To his suprise, instead of usually lashing out, she took a deep breath and smiled.

Way too sweetly.

He narrowed his eyes further as she put the bucket on the table and walked out calmly. But he could of sworn as she walked out her swearing that he was going to get it.

* * *

Harley couldn't stop grinning as she pulled the box out of her backpack.

This was almost too perfect.

"I warned him.." She said softly to herself as she set the box aside, grinning wider. "I told him he should have said sorry..." Looking at the clock, she giggled.

10 o'clock.

All she had to do was wait until morning to exact her revenge.

Walking over to her bed, she hugged the box. "Revenge has a name, and it is called 'Hot Pink Permanent Hair Dye!'"

* * *

**Spring Break is next week! Which means that I'll be updating a lot more! Read and review everyone! I love you all! Adios!**


	6. Revenge is bittersweet

**Finally, tis spring break! n-n Do you guys know what that means? It means that not only can I get two chapters up this week, I also get to play Silent Hill 2, which I rented, until I cry! o.o Which is a good thing...to me. Yes..very good idea...-nods to herself-**

**As always, thank you for the reviews and for fearing the Hot Pink Hair Dye. n.n Because you're supposed to.**

**Also, I wanna thank Jimmy for letting me use his character! o.O This is Harley's partner in crime. XD And he owns a Rock Store! -jealoushugs him- Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Only own Harley..and these oatmeal cookies I'm currently eating..-munches on them-**

* * *

Harley glared at the alarm clock on her pillow as she punched it hard enough to turn it off. She sat up, yawning and rubbing her eyes. "Seven in the morning..." She muttered, slumping off the bed and landing on the floor. Normally, getting up this early would be so wrong in her book, but she had a mission. And it would work as long as Alucard was asleep. 

Muttering, she stood up, rubbing her abused bottom, and picked up the box on the nightstand. She opened it, smiling when she saw everything was in order. Giggling softly, the teenager quietly crept out of her room and made her way to the basement.

Luckily, it seemed no one else, not even Walter, was up yet. So, she of course made it to the basement with no trouble. That was the easy part. The hard part was actually pulling off the mission. Ignoring the slight fear of the dark, she walked to Alucard's room door and hesitated, staying still. She stayed like that for at least a minute before carefully opening the door.

She was in luck; Alucard was asleep. Smiling to herself, she looked at the two coffins, trying to figure out which one he was sleeping it. _Pick one!_ She thought. She almost went for the coffin-bed, but then remembered that it would only be opened from the inside. She cringed.

Harley hadn't thought of that. "Come on, throw me a bone.." She said softly, going for his other coffin. Shivering slightly, she opened it, and found herself looking at a sleeping Alucard. The teen grinned. This was almost too easy. She opened the box of hair dye, still grinning.

"Say hello to my little friend..."

* * *

"You're up early," Walter said to Harley, who was in the kitchen, munching on some toast. "Couldn't sleep?" The teenager nodded, yawning. She had learned that attempting to dye a vampire's hair was very difficult in the dark, though she had done it before. It was a good thing he slept like the dead. Otherwise, she would probably be without an arm. 

"Insomnia," She said, rubbing her eyes. "Woke up, couldn't get back to sleep, so here I am." The butler nodded, making some coffee for both he and Integra.

"How long have you been up?" Harley shrugged.

"An hour or two," She answered, vaguely. "Hey, Walter? You get the blood from soldiers, right?"

"Yes, that's right. Why?"

"I was thinking that maybe Seras' problem was that she doesn't know who's blood she's drinking," She explained, hopping down from the counter she was sitting on. "She feels guilty and all that jazz. So...I was wondering if maybe we could give her some of my blood."

Walter stared at her like she lost her mind. She pouted. "Why does everyone give me that look! I'm serious! The only thing I don't like about giving blood is the needle part. That's it. But I really think it'd make a difference. Please?"

The butler looked skeptical. "..Well...I can see where you're coming from..But you bettter go talk to Sir Integra about it," He said, smiling a little. "If she says that it's alright, then we'll give a pack of it to Police Girl."

Harley smiled, gave him a quick hug and ran out of the kitchen and up the stairs as fast as she could, leaving Walter wondering if this was such a good idea.

* * *

It took some convincing, but Integra finally allowed Harley to "donate" some of her blood. The teenager was extremely happy, but when Walter pulled out the needle, she started to panic a little. "W-Walter?" She whimpered as he came at her with it. "D-Does it h-have to be so big?" 

The butler chuckled. Even if it was mean, it was really funny watching Harley's reactions to various things. "Just close your eyes. It'll be over before you know it," He reassured. Well, it was over quickly...After Walter had to chase Harley around the mansion. He finally caught up to her after she tripped again, scraping up her other knee.

So they had to bandage that up, and Walter was finally able to get the blood from her. After that, Harley was so tired that she fell asleep on the little bed she was sitting on. The butler didn't have the heart to wake her up, so he just put a blanket over her and let her sleep.

Harley slept for a long time, until sun-set. Which was not very smart, since when Alucard woke up, and found out his hair was pink, he nearly went on a killing spree. He was past mad, past furious, past rage and right into pissed off. What made it worse was that Seras was the one that told him it was pink.

And while she had smiled a little, it still didn't make him feel better. In fact, he almost tore the mansion apart looking for the "Sweet, innocent, precious angel from hell," as he put it. And when he finally found her, Walter was able to stop him from tearing her apart.

But that wasn't going to stop Alucard from getting his revenge; Oh no. He had to admit that she was good being able to dye his hair a second time, but there was one simple thing she forgot. She forgot to take the box of hair dye out of the room. And while Alucard wasn't exactly skilled when it came to modern day inventions, this seemed very simple and easy to do.

Alucard grinned as he loomed above the sleeping teenager. "Revenge is so sweet.."

* * *

**"ALUCARD!" **Harley's scream echoed all over the mansion, making everyone pause and prepare themselves. Alucard was calmy sitting on the stairs of the basement when Harley shot out of the kitchen, furious. Any one other than Alucard saw a blur. She launched herself at him, but the vampire easily caught her, smirking. 

"YOU BASTARD!" She shouted, trying to claw and bite him but failing since he was stronger than her, and she was weak from giving blood. "I OUGHTA BASH YOUR FRIGGING SKULL IN! I OUGHTA SPLATTER CHERRY PIE ALL OVER THAT FRIGGING WALL BEHIND YOU! I OUGHTA DRY-HUMP YOU TO MALAYSIA!"

It should be noted that Harley was in a blind rage at the moment and had no idea what she was screaming.

All this screaming was attracting the other residents ofthe Hellsing Organization. The first was Walter. "What's going-?" He started to ask but stopped, staring at Harley's hair. "...H-Harley? Your hair..."

He had to stop and cover his mouth to keep from laughing as Seras ran up the stairs. "What happened?" She said, panting but stopped, her eyes very wide. "...Hair.."

We knew Alucard had pink streaks in his hair, but Harley's hair, on the other hand, had pink blotches. You could barely see the black of her hair. And she was furious for two reasons: One was that Alucard got her back. Two was that the dye was permanent. And if there was one thing Harley loved, it was her hair.

"YOU IDIOT!" She snapped at Alucard. "YOU CAN REGENERATE YOUR HAIR! I CAN'T!"

"YOU STILLED DYED IT A SECOND TIME!" He snapped back, glaring daggers at her. "AND I THINK YOU LOOK BETTER!" She tried going for his neck but he had a strong grip on her arms, so she couldn't do more than struggle violently.

"Alucard! Put her down!" Walter said, crossing his arms. "You're about to bruise her up!" The vampire glared at him. "Don't give me that look. She gave some blood today, so she'll bruise very easily." At this, Alucard blinked and took a good look at her. She was pale and panting, and did look extremely tired and a little sick.

Alucard narrowed his eyes slightly while Seras spoke up. "Why'd she give blood?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"I did it for you," Harley said through clenched teeth, glaring death at Alucard. "I thought you'd drink blood you knew, so I gave some of mine. And even some for the bastard over here..."

"Was this before or after you decided to dye my hair?" Harley was about to tear into him again when Integra's voice ran out.

"I love what you two did to your hair. Tell me, did you it yourselves?" The group looked up at the blonde, who was smoking a cigar and crossing her arms. They couldn't tell if she was mad or not. "Alucard. Drop her."

The vampire did as he was told, much to Harley's protest. "Now. Tell me what happened..One at a time." And they did, though Seras and Walter had to keep peace between the human and the vampire. Integra arched an eyebrow, chuckling very softly at the fact that Alucard looked a little like a girl.

"So..Harley dyed Alucard's hair so he dyed hers right back and now they're trying to kill each other?"

"More or less," Walter agreed, sighing slightly.

"Integra! I gotta get outta here!" Harley exclaimed. "There is NO possible way I'm going to wlak around here with this BADLY done color job!"

"And where do you want to go?"

"There's a shop I know if that I always go to to get my hair dye and stuff!" She said, glaring at Alucard. "Please let me go! It'll take an hour, at the most!" Integra arched an eyebrow and thought about it. "I'll take Alucard and Seras with me!"

This changed everything.

"YOU CAN GO."

* * *

A few minutes later, Harley, Alucard, and Seras were riding in Integra's limo to downtown London. Harley was giving directions to the driver while Alucard sulked and Seras sat quietly. "Oh, get over it," The teen scolded the elder vampire. "If you would have left me alone, we wouldn't be in this mess!" 

Alucard's right eye twitched. "And you had just left ME alone, we also wouldn't be in this mess!"

"I was trying to get you into the Valentine's Day spirit!"

"Oh, bull!" The two started to argue again but stopped when Seras very quietly asked them to stop. They pouted and refused to look at each other. The limo was silent for ten minutes before Harley shouted for the limo to stop. It did, though Seras ended up on top of Alucard from the sudden stop. They both stared at each other and then scrambled after Harley, who had happily hopped out.

"Where is this place?" Seras asked, trying to hide her blush and not look at Alucard. "And what kind of place is it?"

"A good buddy of mine works there. His uncle owns it. His name's Jimmy West. And his shop is...Well, you'll just have to find out," She said mysteriously, smiling. The vampires just followed, Alucard glaring at all the humans around him, wishing he'd eaten something before he left. Soon, they came to a shop, though the vampires couldn't see the name.

Harley walked in and they followed, blinking and looking around them. It was dark, though there were a few lights scattered around. All sorts of rock posters covered the walls, along with other sorts of memoroblia. There were racks of clothes, CD's, posters, jewelry, hair dye, and all sorts of knick-knacks. At the counter was a boy of about 15 or 16, with dirty blonde hair, and was tall, though shorted than Alucard. He was reading a rock magazine and looked up, smiling when he saw Harley.

"Where have you been?" He asked, and blinked when he saw her hair. "What happened to you?"

Harley glared at him. "It's nice to see you too, Jimmy," She said drily, crossing her arms. He laughed nervously.

"Oh, you know I'm just kidding!" He rubbed the back of his neck and blinked when he saw teh pair behind him. "Yo, who are these? Friends of yours?" She nodded. "Please tell me the tall one is here to get some new clothes."

Alucard glared at him.

Harley shook her head. "This is Alucard and Seras. And yeah, they're friends of mine, so be nice to them...Though Alucard does need some new clothes." She smiled at Seras, who returned it slightly. "Anyways, I need some black and red hair dye. Can you hook me up?"

Jimmy nodded and pointed to a shelf on the wall. "Right over there. You can go upstairs if you want and put it on. I'll put it on your tab."

Harley gave him a grateful look and grabbed Seras' hand, who blinked. "Come and help me, Seras!" She said, getting the hair dye and running upstairs, leaving Alucard and Jimmy alone.

* * *

**o.o You know what rocks? Romanian Techno. I am not kidding! XD! -jams to it- I hope you all liked the chapter. The next chapter should be up by Saturday. o.o If it's not, you can yell at me. nn Read and review! I love you all!**

**Adios!**


	7. Alucard, Manson, and Roses

**o.O You guys actually want to hear the music that me and Itaki like to jam to? o.o Whoa. Their name is O-Zone, and I'll see if I can upload the song somewhere and I'll post it up on my profile. Or if you want it from me directly, send me an email and I'll see what I can do. But be warned: The song is bouncy, happy, and will make anyone else who is hearing it insane.**

**Onto other matters, again, thanks for all the reviews. o-o I'm about to break my review record, which is about 80, give or take. -does a little dance-**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley. This disclaimer will self destruct the next millenuim...**

* * *

"Hey, Seras, wanna see my tattoos?" Harley asked the blonde when they were in the upstairs bathroom. Seras blinked, taking off the sunglasses she had on, sweatdropping slightly since Harley was already taking off her black tanktop that had a skull and crossbones on the front. "I got one on my back, and one on both my arms." 

Yes, she indeed did have a tattoo on her back. A very large one, actually, of a wolf's head snarling, the fangs exposed and wicked. It was black with silver ears, one red eye, one blue eye. But what really caught Seras' attention was the long scar that ran through it, from her left shoulder down to her right hip.

"Where did you get that scar?" Seras asked as the teenager sat down on a stool, quickly slipping her tanktop back on. She didn't reply, sighing very softly, putting her head under some running water. She was attempting to get whatever hair dye she could out, permanent or not. Seras didn't push the question, deciding that if Harley wanted to tell, she would when she was ready.

She watched as the teenager started drying her hair with a towel, looking at herself in the mirror. "You have a reflection," Harley commented. Seras smiled a little. "That kicks the crud out of that vampire myth...Does Alucard have one?"

Seras shrugged. "To tell you the truth, I don't really know," She admitted. "I never really got around to ask him, and I don't catch him in situations with a mirror."

"That's why his hair's so unruly," Harley said in a wicked tone, grinning. Seras laughed a little, making Harley grin wider. "Aha! I knew you could laugh! It was only a matter of time. But you can't deny that his hair is really unruly. Sometimes he looks like a girl, sometimes he looks like a guy."

Seras clamped a hand over her mouth to stop the giggles. She coudln't deny what the teen was saying, his hair did have a mind of its own. "Ok, let's change the subject," She giggled, pointing to Harley's left arm. "What is that a tattoo of?"

"An ankh, egyptian sign of rebirth. Or immortality. Depends on who you're talking to," She replied. "Hand me the black hair dye." The police girl did as she was told. "And on my right arm is the Eye of Horus, a sign of protection." She winked at Seras. "Got any tattoos, Seras?"

Seras shook her head. She had never had any thoughts of getting one. Harley shrugged, carefully applying the black dye to her hair. "So, tell me about your self. I'm all ears."

* * *

Back down stairs, a staring contest of sorts was going on. Jimmy was looking at Alucard. Alucard was looking at Jimmy. "Nice sunglasses," The teen commented. 

No reply.

"Where'd you get 'em?"

Silence.

"Why are you wearing them at night?"

More silence.

Jimmy sweatdropped slightly. Wasn't this guy chipper? "...You know...The pink in your hair makes you look a little fruity..."

* * *

"Whoa, it must have been so cool having your dad as a policeman," Harley said, sitting very still as the dye dried. Seras smiled. 

"Y-yeah...It was," She replied, sighing a little. "I became a Police Girl to follow in his footsteps after he died." She hugged her knees some. "I miss him a lot...I miss all my old friends a lot...But they were killed back in Cheddar, so...I don't have anyone left from my past. I'm alone."

"No, you're not," Harley corrected, smiling sincerely at her over her shoulder. "You have Walter and Integra and even the bag of bones downstairs." She turned back to the mirror. "All I got is some stiff as a guardian and some bodyguards who take their job too seriously." Her expression turned serious. "When I'm around other people with that prick, Anders, I gotta act like some china doll that can't think for herself, can't do anything for herself, needs to be protected by the male portion of the species, and will break at any given moment."

Seras could hear the disgust and anger in the teenager's tone and sat down beside her. They looked in the mirror. "You're lucky, Seras," Harley said softly. "I'd give anything in the world to be around Alucard and Integra and Walter all the time. I know that Alucard can be really stiff sometimes, and a jerk...But..." She stopped, smiling at Seras. "I think he really cares about you."

The blonde blinked and started blushing slightly. "...He has a funny way of showing it," She mumbled. Harley giggled.

"Help me streak my hair."

"But really...He..He never.." She groped for the words. "...Sometimes he acts like I don't even exist. For a while, he made it a sport to scare me in any way possible. And then I guess he just got bored.." She sighed. "...Ignore me...I don't know what I'm saying..."

Harley was quiet, thinking. _This may be harder than I thought...I knew Alucard and Seras weren't exactly buddy-buddy but..._ She suddenly shook her head, making Seras scold her and let her finish streaking her hair. _What am I thinking! This is just gonna be so much more fun getting them together! And I think I know the first step._

She giggled softly to herself, already forming the plan in her mind.

* * *

Jimmy was somehow able to curve Alucard's wrath, though he now had an extremely bad headache and couldn't remember the capital of Switzerland. Alucard was now sitting down in a bench, listening to Marilyn Manson and apparently enjoying it. 

"Dude, the Slayers are so much better..." Jimmy muttered, but the vampire was too enthralled into the rock to even care. He waved a hand in front of Alucard's face, who glared at him and took off a headphone. "Ok, I guess this isstrange coming from a guy, but your clothes are seriously beginning to get on my nerves. And it does NOT go with your pink hair."

_Harley, can I kill this guy? _He asked the teenager upstairs.

"DON'T YOU TOUCH HIM!" Came the frantic shout from upstairs. Jimmy blinked while Alucard sulked.

"She's no fun," he muttered, crossing his arms.

"Can I at least convince you to buy a shirt or something?" Jimmy begged. "Please? Just look at them?"

"Will it shut you up?"

"Yes."

"Can I listen to more of this Manson fellow?"

"Slayers are better..But yes."

"...Will I be paying for it?"

Jimmy sweatdropped a little. "...Uhh..."

"Ok then. Let's get this over with."

* * *

Harley hugged Seras after they were done with her hair. "Looks as good as new," She said, satisfied. She looked at the hair dye. "Huh, there's still some left..." She looked at Seras. "Wanna streak your hair?" 

"W-what?" The blonde said, blinking. "But why?"

Harley shrugged. "It's fast, it's easy, I know what I'm doing, and it'd look good for Valentine's Day." Seras looked skeptical. "Come on! It'll be fun! And plus.." She winked at her. "Red is oneAlucard's favorite color." And before Seras could even question the statement, the teenager was already working on streaking the tips of her blonde hair.

_What did she mean by that? Why does it matter that red is oneMaster's favorite color? What is this girl UP to?_

"...Harley? I told you about my parents...How about yours?" Seras asked hesitantly. She knew they had died, but that was about it. The teen didn't answer, consumed in streaking the tips of Seras' blonde hair.

"...Well..." She began, thinking for a moment. "My Dad worked for Hellsing making the weapons and all, but he also made weapons for the Iscariot, the Army, pretty much anyone willing to pay him. He made Alucard's Casull .454 a...few months before he died. Alucard had only been awake for a few months at the time. Walter said that he was wild and nearly unapproachable, 'cept by Integra course..."

She cracked her knuckles and rubbed her neck. "I...don't know that much about my Mum. I think she just followed Dad wherever he went. Along the way, I showed up...I know that I was born in New York City but...it..kinda goes blank as to what happens after that. I know they were killed and Integra took me in for a while before Lukas showed up. He was a...family friend."

"And you remember all of this?" Seras said, blinking. _Hadn't Master said he put up some kind of block in her memory?_

Harley shook her head. "Nu-uh. Walter told me. I can't even remember their faces...Earliest memories I got of are in the Hellsing mansion. And whenever I try to remember past that, I got this bad-ass headache," She said, rubbing her temples. "So, I'm content to let sleeping does lie. Who wants to be wrapped up in the past anyway? 'S not like you can change it."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, absorbed into their own thoughts when Harley finished. "Ta-da!" She said, smiling at her. "What do you think?" Seras blinked and cautiously touched the tips with her fingers.

"..It's different," She admitted, not sure how to feel.

"Seras, keep this one thing in mind," Harley said, stretching and winking. "Different is ok. It's aight to break out of the box. I mean, look at me! I'm fifteen and I have tattoos. And strangely don't have any piercings." She looked very thoughtful as she said this, and Seras giggled in spite of herself.

"Yay, I got you to laugh some more!" She said happily, hooking her arm to Seras'. "Let's get downstairs before Alucard starts going on a killing spree from sheer boredom." They giggled some more and walked downstairs.

They both blinked when they got there because they couldn't see Alucard or Jimmy, which could not be good. "..Uh oh.." They said in unison.

"What's uh-oh?" A voice said behind them, causing Seras to jump and Harley to shriek.

"DON'T DO THAT!" She shouted, whirling and pouncing on a confused Jimmy.

"OW! HEY! QUIT IT, WHAT'D I DO?" He shouted back as the furious little teenager hit his head repeatedly.

"YOU SCARED ME!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU SCARE EASILY!"

While they argued, Seras looked behind Jimmy and saw Alucard calmly sitting behind the counter, a pair of headphones on. _You're finally done, Police Girl._ He said silently to her. He let his sunglasses slide down his nose, eyeing her intently, while she squirmed slightly. _You changed your hair!_

There was a note of surpise in his voice, and Seras took it as a compliment. She nodded, blushing lightly. _Does it...look alright?_ She asked shyly, hating the fact that she was and had always been awkward around men, even if it was just Master. He smirked and shrugged.

_It suits you._

She smiled at him, wishing her blush would go away, as Jimmy finally calmed Harley down enough to show her had been going on. "I was showing your fruity-" Alucard death glared him. "-I mean...I was showing your friend some of the T-shirts we have. And some CD's. He likes Manson."

Harley stared at him. "..You showed...Alucard...some shirts?" She asked. He nodded.

"He picked out a few. Wanna see them?" Harley gave the elder vampire a look that said "You-Better-Not-Have-Done-Anything-Bad." He looked at her innocently, or as much innocence that Alucard could muster. Jimmy put a stack of shirts on the counter and Harley started looking them over.

"'Jesus is coming..Hide the Bong,'" She read, and glared at him. "Integra will kill both me and you..." He just grinned, putting the headphones down. "'9 out of 10 voices in my head say I'd screw that'...'I leave bitemarks'? Oh, funny, Alucard, real funny."

Alucard thought it was. "I really wanna get that one!" He said. "Please?"

"Whatever...'NPA: National Pimp Association'..." She glared at him. "A shirt with a gun on it...'I'm a big fricking ray of sunshine'...'Property of the Psychiatric Center'..." Harley sighed and shook her head. "Jimmy, ring the NPA and the bite one up."

"Hey, can I get the CD's of the Manson guy?" Alucard asked, making Seras and Harley both sweatdrop slightly.

"How are you going to listen to them?" Harley demanded, putting her hands on her hips. "You are not exactly technologically gifted."

"I'll just use your..thing," He said, standing up. "Or Walter's. Depends on who isn't looking at the moment."

"Alright, whatever." She turned to Jimmy, seeing how much this was going to cost her while Seras looked at some jewelry, gently touched a necklace of a rose.

"Like it?" Alucard asked from right beside her, causing her to jump. He chuckled. "You're so easy.."

"And you'd think one would be used to it by now," She mumbled, still looking at the necklace. "Yeah, it's pretty. I've never seen a black rose before, though."

"They're supposed to symbolize death," He said, standing up straight. "Or revenge. So I'm told."

"That's morbid," She said, also straightening. "It's still pretty, though."

"Red roses are better," Harley called over her shoulder. "Black roses aren't even real." She handed Alucard his bag, refusing to carry it. "Thanks, Jimmy. I'll see you later."

"Don't be a stranger," He said, waving as they walked out of the store, Alucard and Harley arguing on whether or not black roses were, in fact, real. "What a strange bunch.."

* * *

Back at the mansion, Alucard and Seras quietly made their way to Harley's room. She had fallen asleep in the limo, so Alucard was carrying her to her room. He was a little annoyed, since they didn't get to finish discussing the natural colors of roses. Seras was quiet, thinking about it.

_Red and black...One common, one from a fairytale... Red, the color of blood and love...black, the color of death and vengeance.._

_And also the color of rebirth, Police Girl,_ Alucard interrupted, chuckling softly as he set the teenager in her bed. _By death, it means the death of old habits, like a phoenix rising from the ashes to live again. _He smiled at her softly, starting to dissolve into the shadows. _A little like you..Police Girl._

She blinked, watching him leave, her cheeks suddenly flaming. "..Me?" She said softly, looking at the shadows. "...What did he mean by that?"

The only reply she got was a soft snore from Harley.

* * *

**Those shirts that I listed? o.o They are, in fact, real. I got them out of this rock magazine. And those are the ones that I seriously think Alucard would get. And they kinda fit him!**

**On the topic of whether black roses exist...Well, I have no idea. I'm not even going to get into it, though the roses will appear again later. o.o Did that chapter have any fluff in it? It won't be until next chapter that things are set into motion seriously, but I'm curious.**

**Also, note that this chapter is up quickly! -does a little dance- Anyways, you know the drill. I love you all!**

**Adios!**


	8. Shaving Cream and Seras' surprise

**(Sipping some Moutain Dew) Hello, all! nn Thanks for the reviews. o.o I'm happy that I actually updated two chapters in one week...But onto pressing matters.**

**I want to thank you all for staying with the story this long. This may not be my longest story, but this is the story that I've put a lot of time and thought into. I just want to say thanks.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Itaki-sama and Mizu-chan and Jimmy-kun. o.O Because you guys talk to me outside of here and convince me to move my bottom. (hugs)**

**By the way, the magazine I got the shirts from will be put into my profile if anyone would like it. I will also post O-zone for those who would like to hear it.**

**o.o And if there are any mistakes in this, blame my Beta Reader Itaki! (Who is VERY strict..)**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley. Period. Nyah.**

**This chapter was fueled by the gorgeous melodies of Chrono Cross. **

* * *

"Harley? What exactly are you doing?" Walter asked the teenager the next morning. She was up early again, which made him suspicious. But she seemed extremely intent as she stared at a can of shaving cream, which was sitting on the kitchen counter. She blinked a few times, narrowing her eyes at it. 

"I was thinking about something Jimmy once told me," She replied. "Something about shaving cream...What was it..? I know it had something to do with a can opener..."

"I haven't the foggiest idea," The butler said, starting to make some tea and coffee. "Which would you prefer?"

"I'll have a coke," She said, waving her hand. "And could you hand me the can opener? Not the electric, the handheld." He did so with a curious look.

"I hope you haven't done anything to Alucard," He warned, and Harley smiled and shook her head. "Good...I don't think either of you can handle another run in." To emphasize this statement, he pointed to the various bandaids on her arms. "You can only handle so much."

Harley shook the can and cracked her knuckles, looking at the can opener. "Tch. If he wanted to hurt me badly, he would have done so by now," She muttered. "And now I'm bored. He can't take a joke..."

"You dyed his hair pink. Again."

"For the record, I streaked it, and I was trying to get him into the spirit."

"Of what?"

"Valentine's Day!" She said, grinning as she put the can opener on the can.

"Harley? Is that really such a good idea?" Walter asked, looking at her uncertainly.

"Aw, come on! What's the worst that could happen?" She laughed and twisted the can opener.

What both Walter and Harley failed to notice was the warning on the can that said "Contents under pressure. Do not puncture or incinerate." And because they also didn't like science that much, they didn't realize that the air trapped inside the can had to go somewhere. Plus, Harley said those famous last words.

As soon as the can opener started cutting, the top exploded off, and we mean **exploded. **The entire kitchen was suddenly white and foamy. And Harley and Walter got the worst of it. The front half of their bodies was covered with the shaving cream from head to toe. Harley spit it out of her mouth while Walter took off his monocle.

"Harley?" He said in an extremely calm voice that creeped the teenager out. She sweatdropped.

"Y-Yeah?"

"Excuse my language, but that has got to be the most dumb-assed thing you have ever done."

"I agree, Walter."

Walter promptly hit her on the head just as Alucard would have done, but Harley didn't try to attack the old butler. Both tried to clean themselves off, but not before some soldiers came in, slid on the floor, and slammed into the oven. And while this was hilarious, it happened many more times before anyone could warn anyone else. And it woke Integra up.

Now, while Harley was asleep last night, Integra and Seras had to deal with Alucard. It seemed that Harley's blood made Alucard extremely hyper and childish. He actually went up to the roof and hurled vegetables at the troops as they trained. This, of course, royally pissed Integra off, and she had to spend the entire night calming him down. Seras tried to help, but it was hard to control your Master. Especially when he somehow convinced her to help him in the "safe and harmless fun".

And it was fun; Until Integra shot Alucard repeatedly. The Police Girl than stayed in her room, smiling and feeling better in spite of herself. Alucard, on the other hand, got the reprimanding of his undead life. Harley was now not allowed to give any more blood to Alucard. He wasn't allowed near vegetables.

So when Integra woke up, it took every ounce of her willpower not to shoot someone. Harley and Walter managed to curb her wrath by cleaning up the kitchen and patching up everyone who had slipped in the shaving cream.

Walter and Harley had been up at eight; It took them until noon to get finished. "I hate shaving cream," The teen growled when they were all finished. Walter was drinking tea while she was chugging down coke like there was no tomorrow. "Dude, that completely sucked! Why don't they put warnings on those things!"

"Apparently, they didn't believe that some curious teenager would attempt to open it with a can opener," Walter replied, chuckling as she glared at him.

"Alright. Alright! I know what I did! But at least there was some excitement around here...There's nothing for me to do."

"You could so some studying," He suggested. Harley cringed at the thought of Geometry and history. The only learning she was interested in was the supernatural and becoming a better weapon smith, like her father. And ways to annoy Alucard. And how to bring he and Seras together.

She sighed and shook her head. "No way. Not happening," She growled, crossing her arms. Walter also sighed, then got an idea.

"Why don't you go and explore the mansion grounds?" She blinked, looking at him. "Some fresh air will do you some good. So will the exercise." It would also kill off all that pent up energy Harley had. She thought about it for a moment and nodded, smiling.

"Sure. Why not? Who knows? Maybe I'll find something interesting." She ran off, leaving Walter alone, who sighed at the silence that came when she left. He enjoyed Harley, but sometimes silence was a blessing.

* * *

Harley ran around outside for a while, enjoying the sun before she got bored. And when the teen did, she decided that she would rather explore the woods than watch some troops train. It seemed that's what they were always doing. They never did anything different, so she deemed them unworthy of her watching. It may seem unfair, but she came from a world where everything was prim and proper and constant. Now was her chance to get dirty, and she was going to take it. 

She turned a cartwheel, happily walking along the edge of the woods, getting her bearings. A slight movement in the forest caught her eye, and she blinked. "Hm?" She took a cautious step forward, as the leaves started rustling. She stared with wide eyes and suddenly smiled.

"Oh, Alucard!" She said in a sing-song voice and smiled at the dark shape in the leaves. "Now, you stay there, ok? I'll be right back!"

* * *

"This better be good.." Alucard growled, following a happy Harley up the stairs of the basement. It wasn't too early for him to be up, since it was around four, but it was still early. And he hadn't hurt Harley, but he was pretty mad for being woken up. And she wouldn't even tell him why. He was tempted to read her mind, but her thoughts were always so jumbled, he didn't want to have to sort through them. 

"It is, I swear!" She insisted, tugging on his arms. He winced when they went outside, grumbling obscenties under his breath. "Come on, if you don't like it, then I'll leave you alone for the rest of the time I'm here."

He raised an eyebrow. "Cross my heart," She swore, looking at him seriously. "But then you gotta promise that you'll give what I'm going at a chance."

"Will you let go of my arm?"

"Yeah."

"Then deal." They shook hands and walked towards the woods. Alucard blinked slightly, yawning as Harley stopped at the edge of the woods and got on her knees. "What are you doing?"

"Sh!" She scolded, glaring at him and back to the trees. "Hey, come on out!" Silence. "Aw, please still be there...Don't mind the big guy, he's just for show!" Alucard was sure that Harley had lost any sanity she had left when the leaves starting rustling. He blinked, staring while the teenager grinned triumphantly.

"...You wanted to show me this?"

She nodded.

"You woke me up...to show me this?"

More vigorous nods.

Alucard glared at her before breaking out into a toothy grin. "Harley...Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

She grinned back. "As scary as that may be...I think I am."

* * *

"Ok, Harley. I'll give this one to you. You did good," Alucard said an hour later, smiling at the teenager, who practicallly glowed. Praise from Alucard was rare, and she loved it when he threw some her way. 

"I think so!" She agreed, smiling at the tiny ball of fluff on her bed. "Wow, she looks so much better with all that grass an' stuff outta her fur...She's so cute!" The tiny ball of fluff was a black kitten with a white spot on her ears and a white paw. She watched Alucard and Harley with large hazel eyes and mewed softly.

Harley was beside herself. "She's just so adorable!" She cried, resisting to urge to hug the tiny kitten to death. "I almost can't stand that much cuteness!"

"...Dogs are better," Alucard muttered, and Harley hugged him.

"You're cute, too! Just not AS cute!" He glared at her and shrugged.

"Alright, we saved a kitten from starvation. Now what?"

"Easy," She said, winking. "We give her to Seras. But...We can't give it to her directly."

"Why not?"

"Because! If you just give the kitten to her, it's not as roman-" She stopped suddenly, biting her tongue while he narrowed his crimson eyes. "It doesn't have as much impact."

_Nice save, Harley, really smooth.._

_What are you up to, shrimp?_

_Stay out of my head, vampire!_

They both glared at each other and then just shrugged. "...And I am NOT a shrimp!"

"Whatever...So, tell me what you have in mind." Harley grinned at this, whispering in his ear. The vampire blinked and looked at her when she was through. "Are you sure this will work?"

"Just trust me on this. And wear your trenchcoat."

* * *

Seras yawned and stretched as she climbed out of her coffin. She actually had a decent sleep for once, falling asleep around the time that Harley's can of shaving cream was exploding. The blonde eyed her door, half expecting either Alucard or Harley to pop out. But neither came. She just shrugged, stretching more and walking out, looking both ways in the hallway. Again, neither of them showed up. 

"...That's suspicious..." She muttered, walking up the stairs. Walter was dusting the banister of the stairs and greeted her warmly.

"Good evening, Miss Victoria. Have a nice night?" He asked, smiling. She returned it, smiling.

"Yeah..I did for once...But where's Master and Harley?"

"Alucard has been up since this afternoon." Seras blinked. This was new; Alucard rarely got up before the sun went down and certainly not in the afternoon.

"..MayI ask why?"

"I'm actually not sure myself. Harley came running in and then they both went running back outside. I think they're up in her room right now. " He chuckled softly. "At least they aren't at each others' throats.."

Seras nodded. "Thanks, Walter!" She called, running up the stairs and towards Harley's room. She heard some voices and stopped, listening.

"OW! HEY, IT BIT ME!" She heard Alucard yelp angrily.

"Oh, shut up, you baby!" Harley snapped, her voice annoyed. "You're a vampire; Act like one!"

"Save it, you little..."

"Sit still!"

By now, Seras was extremely curious as to what they were up to. She walked up to the door and knocked, giggling very softly as she heard Harley yelp and a loud thud. "Harley? Master? Are you guys in here?"

"DON'T COME IN!" The vampire and teen shouted in unison, making the blonde blink. There was some scuffling and Harley opened the door, her hair in front of her eyes.

"Y-Yeah, Seras?" She asked, pushing the hair out of her eyes and smiling nervously. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering where you and Master were..." She looked into the room. "What were you two doing?"

"J-Just playing DDR! Right, Alucard?"

"Stupid damn game..." Seras heard Alucard mutter and laughed a little.

"Hey, we're almost done, be back in a few minutes!" Harley then closed the door, leaving Seras wondering what was really going on. She couldn't see her Master playing a game like that without killing someone or something. She started walking away when the teenager bolted out, grabbing Seras' arm as she passed.

"Hey! What's-?" She started but she never finished as a chair was hurled out of the room. She stared with wide eyes as Alucard stomped out, his red eyes glowing angrily. "...Master?"

He bonked Harley on the head, who meeped and flinched. "I. AM. NEVER. PLAYING THAT STUPID GAME AGAIN!" He growled at her, hitting her a second time. The poor girl had two large lumps on her head and would have had another if Seras hadn't intervened.

"Master! There's no reason to hit Harley!"

"How about her winning?"

"No, Master! Don't take it out on her!" She pointed downward to the lower floor. "You already took it out on the chair..." Alucard sulked, crossing his arms and muttering in german.

"Fine. I won't hit her again. Right now." He disappeared before she could reply, leaving the two females alone.

"Are you ok?" She asked Harley, who was mentally screaming at Alucard about the difference between acting and not acting. She was rubbing the bumps on her head furiously.

"Stupid vampire..." She muttered, one of her eyes twitching. "You are so gonna have a lobster in your coffin..." She smiled a little at Seras. "Sorry about that...Have a good sleep?" Seras nodded. "Drink your blood?" A hesitant nod. "Ha! I knew it! See? It helps knowing whose blood you're drinking, right?"

"Yeah...Though it made Master act very...strange..." She thought of Alucard throwing all those vegetables and laughed aloud. "...Thanks. You didn't have to do that."

Harley just waved her hand. "Bleh. Forget about it. I'll take those smiles as payment," She said, starting to walk downstairs. "Bet you're hungry now...I know I am. Tell you what, I'm gonna grab something and bring ya down your blood. You go down ta ya room. We can talk girl and stuff. Deal?"

Seras couldn't think of Harley being anything other than a tomboy, but she was glad she would at least have someone to talk to that wouldn't mess with her or ignore her. "Alright. Deal." They shook hands, going their seperate ways. When Harley couldn't see the blonde anymore, she grinned, giggling softly.

_Alright, Alucard. _She thought, walking to the kitchen, whistling. _She's coming down. Is the ball of fluff with you?_

_Of course it is. What do you think I am, stupid?_

_Maybe..._ She recieved the mental equivalent of a kick and winced. _You're so touchy...Sheesh... Just do what I told you to, alright?_

_Alright, already! Damn it, you're so damn annoying.._

_Oh, shut up, Lover Boy, and just do what I said!_

She put up her mental shield before he could reply, thankful that Integra taught her how to block out Alucard's prying. Though she was pretty sure she was in for a thrashing for her last comment. The teen had let that slip, but that's what she was after, right?

"Damn, I'm evil..." She muttered, opening the fridge and pulling out a coke.

* * *

Seras trotted down the basement stairs and blinked when she saw Alucard leaning againist the wall very casually. "Master," She said, in case his temper was still flaring. She didn't feel any anger from him, but it was better safe than sorry. 

"Police Girl," He replied, putting on his usual grin. "It seems you had a good sleep. About time." She nodded, feeling a little awkward. She averted her eyes, putting her hands behind her back. "What's your rush, Police Girl? That kid isn't going to be back until she's successfully depleted all sources of caffeine and sugar."

Seras laughed and nodded. "You're probably right." She started walking to her room when she heard something very strange.

"Meow."

She stopped, blinking and looked over her shoulder to Alucard, who was suddenly very interested in his gloves. "...Master? Did you hear that?"

"Hear what, Police Girl?"

"Meow..."

Seras sweatdropped slightly. "That, Master..." Alucard blinked himself, then smiled. This smile was less insane but was still a source of worry.

"Oh, Police Girl, there's nothing to worry about!" He reassured, rooting around his coat and pulling out the small kitten. Seras stared it, wondering why Alucard would be carrying around a cat. He suddenly handed it to her, patting her on the head and smiling happily.

"A kitten for the kitten," He said and started walking away, leaving Seras to wonder if Alucard had really lost his mind. She watched him leave, the kitten squirming in her arms when she suddenly started blushing. She just realized that Alucard had just given her a gift, one that actually was sweet and fluffy.

She ran to her room before she could pursue any more thoughts on Alucard and his strange behavior.

* * *

Alucard found Harley in the kitchen happily licking an ice cream cone. He didn't know where exactly she got the cone or the ice cream, but he decided that maybe it was best not to ask. Their blood was cooling in the buckets on the counter. She smiled when she saw the vampire. "How'd it go? Did it work?" 

Alucard shrugged, grabbing his blood bag. "I think she liked the cat," He answered vaguely, noting with smugness how Harley squirmed at the lack of details. She frowned.

"And?"

"And what?"

"...You won't tell me, will you?"

"Not unless you beg."

She glared at him. "How is it that even when you do something decent you still manage to tick someone off? And this someone is usually me?" She growled, licking more of the ice cream. It was coffee flavored; Walter had a soft spot for it. Alucard only smirked.

"What can I say? She liked it. What else is there to tell?"

"Meanie...HEY!" She shouted as Alucard took her ice cream cone from her. "GIVE THAT BACK!"

The vampire ignored her, grinning and licking it. Harley nearly went into convulsions. "AUGH! YOU CONTAMINATED IT! IT HAS VAMPIRE GERMS ALL OVER IT! IT'S TAINTED! YOU KILLED IT! YOU ICE CREAM MURDERER!"

"Oh, boo-hoo, it's just ice cream..." He replied, laughing and dodging her angry punches and kicks. "You can always make another!"

"I WANT IT BACK!"

"What's the word I'm looking for? Hmmm...How about no?"

Harley's eyes flared and she snatched his blood pack. The vampire blinked and stared at her with wide eyes as she stabbed a straw into it. "So you wanna steal my ice cream?" She snarled, grinning at him furiously. "Then I'm gonna steal your blood!" And with that, she started sucking it up through the straw.

This made Alucard mad, so he started eating the cone. In a few short minutes, the cone and the blood was gone, leaving a very sick vampire and teenager. They glared at each other before turning a little green. "...Ugh...I don't feel so good..." Harley muttered, holding her stomach. "How can you drink that stuff?"

"Uhh...How can you humans eat that ice cream...It's horrible..." he muttered back, feeling extremely sick. He also held his stomach, clamping a hand over his mouth.

Walter walked in just as Harley and Alucard ran out. He blinked and sweatdropped as he heard gags and moans. It seemed that humans systems weren't designed to drink blood for nutrients, and vampire systems couldn't handle human food.

* * *

**So, what shall we name the new kitty? Mince? o.o I have no idea; Send me some ideas! Anyways, read and review. I'm about to break 100! XD! I am such a review horder...**

**Adios!**


	9. A Little Fluff

**Thanks for all the reviews everyone! As always, they mean so much to me. I liked seeing what names you wanted to name the kitty. XD They made me laugh! o.o There was one name that we couldn't use: Sora. Why? Quite simple, actually. We all have alter egos and mine is named Sora. o.o She's the exact opposite of Relics. And if you ever met Relics/Sora, you'd be meeting Sora first.**

**Anyways, enough about that. The next few weeks will be UBER busy for me, but I will have the chapters up by either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Depends on how much time I have to type and how fast Itaki..o.O does whatever _she does!_**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley, and Harley is the name of the one I own, and she shall be owned as Harley.**

* * *

Seras stared at the kitten. 

The kitten stared back.

It had been this way for about an hour. Seras was still getting over the shock of Alucard's action. The kitten was just happy to be inside. The coffin-bed was suprisingly warm, and it had started becoming cloudy outside. The blonde was trying to come up with a name for the small animal and couldn't seem to find any that fit.

"Hmm...Sunshine? No...Sora? No, no..." She sighed, stretching. "...What do you think you should be named?" The kitten crawled into her lap, purring softly. "I thought so..." She sighed again, petting her. "You really are an adorable kitten...I can't believe that Master would get something so...innocent."

At that moment, Seras' door opened. She jumped and blinked as Alucard walked in, a pail containing her blood in one hand, the other holding his stomach. While Seras and the kitten bonded, he had just spent the last hour in the bathroom extremely sick and feeling like Harley had somehow, someway, staged the entire thing. Harley was now in her room, also wishing she was dead and refusing to move for anything. Poor Alucard had walked out of the bathroom and was handed Seras' blood by Walter, who was trying very hard not to laugh.

This was the second time he'd seen Alucard like this; The first had been a few years ago when he and the vampire had an extreme drinking contest. Walter didn't really know why they had this drinking contest; It was probably a product of extreme boredom. Well, the bulter had half a bottle of Jose Quervo Tequila. Alucard had the whole thing. Somehow, Walter was able to keep the alcohol down until morning while it only took Alucard an hour until it hit him.

He may be an extremely powerful vampire, but he didn't deal with human food and drink very well.

And modern appliances.

"Master?" Seras said in a concerned tone. Alucard really didn't look well at all, his hair in front of his eyes, his skin paler than usual, his eyes narrowed into slits, and he was grimacing. "What happened?"

He didn't answer, sitting down in a chair, putting the bucket on the table and laying his head down, groaning softly. "I...hate...ice cream..."He muttered. Seras stared at him curiously. "Stupid kid...Can't eat...Stomach hurts..."

"...Do I want to know?"

"I really don't want to talk about it..."

Seras was content with this and picked up the blood packet, slightly grimacing also. She sat down on the bed, picking up the kitten and petting her. There was a moment of silence before Alucard turned his head towards her. "What're you naming it?" He asked, and the Police Girl shrugged.

"I can't decide," She replied, eyeing him a little suspiciously. It wasn't like him to just make conversation out of the blue. It was making her a little wary. The kitten hopped out of her lap and jumped onto the table. It was a suprising feat for something so small, but the kitten seemed unfazed as she walked over to Alucard and crawled onto his head.

He gave it a half-hearted glare. "Name it Bug," He said. Seras giggled a little. "Or Pest. Or Bob...Name it Martini."

"Master, we can't name her after a drink," She laughed, walking over to them and patting the kitten's head. "She's so soft...And cute! We have to name her something with...personality."

"Why? A rose by any other name still smells as sweet," He quoted.

"William Shakespeare, right?" Seras asked. Alucard shrugged.

"Yeah...You should have been here the time the little monster made me help her understand his plays..." He shivered. "...I hate plays..." Seras smiled, making Alucard note she'd been doing that a lot lately. He put his head into his arms, much to the kitten's annoyance, who hopped down and glared at him. "Aw, bite me."

"She just might, Master. Cats can hold grudges," She warned. Alucard "tch"-ed, ignoring the furball. "...How about Mince?"

"Mince?" Alucard looked up. "...Do what you want, it's your cat..."

"...But...You gave her to me." She felt a light blush coming on and busied herself with the kitten. "You should have some say in it.." The vampire chuckled, though it hurt his stomach a little, and sat up.

"Thanks but no thanks, Police Girl. The cat's all yours. Name it what you want. It doesn't matter to me." He eyed her slightly. "...And drink your blood."

Seras made a face and sighed. She wasn't going to argue. But just because she was going to drink the blood, it didn't mean that she would do it peacefully. "Yes, Master," She said obediently, sitting on the bed, Mince in her lap. She poked a straw into it and started to take tiny sips. Alucard watched her and, though he still felt sick, he still hadn't had his blood. Harley had taken care of that for him. But there was no way he was going to go ask Walter for another blood packet and get laughed at again.

Once a night was enough for him.

The blood made Seras feel a whole lot better, but she noticed Alucard's slightly hungry look. He turned his head away, glaring a hole into the wall, wondering how much trouble he'd get into for tieing Harley to a tree. "...Master?"

"Yes, Police Girl?"

"Did you have your blood already?"

Alucard winced. "...No...And I won't be." Seras stared at him. This was certainly different; For once, she was being the good vampire, and he was being the one who refused to drink blood. He saw her questioning look and sighed. "Let's just say my blood had an...accident. And I won't go and bother Walter for more."

Now, while Seras seriously doubted that Alucard wouldn't bother someone when it came to his blood, but didn't push the subject. Instead, she smiled slightly, and took one big gulp of the blood. She stood up and walked over to her Master. "Here." She put the packet down beside him and walked back to her bed.

Alucard stared at it and then to her. She was smiling very brightly. "It's alright, Master. I feel better now. I left you half. That'll be enough to stop your hunger, right?" He nodded, feeling strange, almost awkward suddenly. He was a powerful vampire who didn't like depending much on others. He had a huge ego; He knew it and made sure everyone around him knew it.

But Seras' simple gesture made him feel almost humble. He felt a strange warmth and nearly growled at it. "...Police Girl...You need it more than me," He replied a little weakly, eyeing her. She shook her head, petting Mince more.

"Really, Master. You have it. Besides, I don't think I can stomach anymore." She smiled more at him. "Think of it as a way to repay you for such a sweet gift." Alucard felt genuinely touched and was about to drink the blood when he felt his stomach start backflipping. He turned green and clamped a hand over his mouth. "Master?"

_BATHROOM! NOW! _The elder vampire nearly screamed in his fledgling's head. She yelped slightly and pushed him toward the direction of it. He bolted, barely making it. This time, he was much sicker than before. Mince hid under a pillow while Seras rubbed his back soothingly.

"It'll be alright, Master...It'll be over in a second...You just have to get it out of your system..." She said comfortingly while Alucard was mentally asking for permission to shoot Harley. Finally, his stomach seemed to start calming down, and Alucard dragged himself to the table, slumping in his seat.

"...Feel better?" Seras asked, and he shook his head. "I think it maybe over now..."

"..Remind me to seriously maim that shrimp..." He growled, laying his head back onto his arms. She sweatdropped, still rubbing his back.

"No need for violence, Master."

"It'll make me feel better."

"And make Sir Integra furious with you."

Alucard had no reply to this, so the silence returned. This time, it stayed for a long time before a clap of thunder suddenly shook the Hellsing manor. Seras jumped nearly three feet, Mince meowed loudly, and Alucard deathglared the cieling.

"Oh, SHUT UP!" He snapped at the heavens. His reply was another roar of thunder. "Oh, boo-hoo, did I hurt your feelings?"

"Master...The thunderstorm can't hear you..."

Alucard didn't answer, still glaring at the cieling. "Tch...Stupid storm...What time is it?"

Seras looked at the clock and was suprised to find it close to almost four in the morning. They had both just spent nearly the entire night together without any teasings, mockings, or provokings, though they hadn't spoken a lot. Alucard had drank the blood as soon as he was sure he wasn't going to throw it up, but that was...what, almost two hours ago?

Time flies when you're just laying around.

"3:45, Master," She answered, looking at him when he suddenly sat up, narrowing his eyes. "What is it?"

"Oh, no..." He muttered, standing up and starting to walk out. Seras put Mince on her shoulder and scrambled after him as he walked quickly to his room, phasing through the door. Her eye twitched slightly since she had to open the door. She was about to put her hand on the handle before hesitating suddenly. She had never been in Alucard's room except perhaps once. He was extremely protective of his room, letting a very few actually come in.

Seras hadn't because she wanted to respect his privacy. Plus, she didn't know what she'd see. Mince meowed softly on her head, as if encouraging her. She smiled at the dark kitten and opened the door, walking in. She sweatdropped when she found one of Alucard's coffins open, the owner holding up a small figure.

"...Harley..." The vampire growled at the teen, who looked half asleep. She was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and shorts, like Seras, but her hair was pulled back into a ponytail. "Why are you in my room? More importantly, sleeping in one of my coffins?"

"Uhhhh.." The teen muttered, yawning. "I had a bad dream...And got all scared..." Alucard's right eye twitched slightly. "The bad things were after me again..." Thunder boomed again, and Harley nearly screamed, latching onto his arm, shivering almost violently. "AND IT'S THUNDERING!"

The vampire groaned, resisting the urge to hit her. "Harley...You're fifteen...You're too old to act like this.." The teen didn't answer, too busy having a death-grip on his arm.

"I'm scared," She said in a childish voice. "..I don't like the bad things.." While Seras pondered on what the "bad things" were, Alucard sighed and looked at the sleepy teenager.

"Harley, why were you sleeping down here?" He asked. He couldn't believe she was in his coffin; She was a little claustrophobic and would start to panic.

"'Cause I don't like sleeping by myself."

Seras walked over to them. "Harley? Want us to come stay with you until the storm's over?" She asked, ignoring the outraged look on Alucard's face. She nodded, yawning and flinching at more thunder. "Alright then. Let's go, Master."

_Police Girl? What in the world do you think you're doing? _Alucard silently asked, glaring at her a little.

_Master, if we stay with her until she goes to sleep, she won't have to come down here and bother you, _She replied. _Besides, there are a lot of people who are scared of thunder and have nightmares...But what are these "Bad things" she keeps talking about?_

_Heh...Ever since she was young, she's had nightmares about the night her parents died, even though she can'tconciously remember it. The bad things must be ghouls or something. I don't know. They're just dreams. They can't hurt anyone. _

Seras nodded as they walked to Harley's room. She noticed all the electronic devices the teen had set up and smiled slightly to herself as Alucard gave the Playstation a wary look. "Alright, shrimp, we're here. Get in the bed and go to sleep," He grumbled, sliding the girl off his arm. She did, though she wouldn't let go of his wrist.

"No, get in with me.." She mumbled, and Alucard glared at her.

"There's no way-"

"-That we wouldn't," Seras cut in, giving her Master a look that said "Just do it for her." He gave her his total warfare smirk, which she countered with her disarming and innocent grin. "Just do it, Master. Please?"

The elder vampire rolled his eyes and flopped down beside the teen, sulking. Seras put Mince down on Harley's stomach, sliding in the middle. She was a little surprised that the bed could fit all three of them quite comfortably. She and Alucard layed on their backs while Harley curled up at the very edge of the bed.

"Thanks..." Harley muttered, yawning and quickly falling asleep. Mince hopped up onto Alucard's chest, curling into a ball and also going to sleep. The vampire felt extremely close to screaming and/or killing something, but managed to supress the urge.

"..Can we leave now?" He asked after a few minutes, yawning in spite of himself.

"No, Master...The second we do, she'll wake up..." Seras replied sleepily. It was getting close to dawn, and both were starting to feel tired.

"How do you know..."

"Trust me on this..." They both yawned. Alucard pulled his hat over his eyes.

"I'm going to bed..." He muttered, but Seras was already asleep.

* * *

Harley woke up a little past nine. She groaned softly, stretching and blinking when she saw Mince sitting on her stomach, purring contently. "Hey, Kitty," She said softly, sitting up. Mince opened one eye and watched her before closing it and resuming her sleep. "How did you get up...?" 

A soft snore from next to her answered her question. The teenager looked over and clamped a hand over her mouth to supress a laugh. Alucard and Seras were still with her, alright. Seras was laying on top of his chest, holding onto him tightly while Alucard was snoring, his hat lying on the floor. Both looked extremely content. Plus, Harley didn't know vampires could snore.

"Learn something new everyday," She muttered, climbing out of the bed with Mince in her arms. She threw the blanket over the couple, grinning.

"Sweet dreams, love birds..." She said and with that she walked out, giggling and couldn't wait to tell everyone that Seras and Alucard were sleeping together.

* * *

**Sorry this was kinda late everyone. I've been very busy...And for SOME reason, I couldn't concentrate that much on anything! But that's over now. I hope everyone enjoys!**

**Adios!**


	10. Learning to Dance

**The name "Mince" (Pronounced 'Min-See') was inspired by an anime called "Excel Saga." I won't explain it here, but it is HILARIOUS, has almost no plot, and makes fun of just about every anime/game cliche you can think of! Mince is actually a little dog, but she's adorable...and can be used as an emergency ration... Good job, Rob!**

**To ****NalaravatheRed**: **The next chapters will be dedicated to pulling the ball off. Thank you for not forgetting!**

**As always, thanks for the great reviews. I'd also like to see Alucard and Seras' pose, but that totally depends on Itaki, the Beta-Beta Reader. (Right now she's doing a manga for an original story I'm writing, so it's entirely up to her if she wants to.) **

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley. That's it. Period.**

**This chapter was fueled by cold medicine, since my allergies are kicking in, and FLCL music. Because grunge hamsters rock.**

* * *

"Good morning, Harley,"Walter greeted the teen as she walked into the kitchen. He caught sight of Mince and blinked. "...Harley?...There's a cat on your shoulder..." 

"I know," She answered, pulling some milk out of the fridge. "I found it yesterday. Poor thing...She was all alone. And she's so tiny. But, she's so cute!" She patted the kitten, smiling. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Alucard gave her to Seras," She said proudly. "It was my idea." Walter chuckled.

"You're dead-set on bringing them together, aren't you?" He asked with a smile. Harley smiled back. "I have to admit, I haven't heard them argue. It is nice that they're being decent to each other..."

"You should see them right now...They're sleeping with each other!" Harley said happily. Walter spit out the tea he was drinking, not sure he should trust his ears. The teenager blinked. "What? They are; They're in my bed right now, sleeping like babies."

"You just gave me a heart attack," The butler mumbled. "Specify next time.." She just gave him a curoius look and shrugged. "Harley, we should probably start figuring out what we're going to do for your ball. Sir Integra has been dealing with such things as decorations, but she wants us to find a band to invite..."

"Sweet!" The teen exclaimed, setting Mince down with a bowl of milk. "We really get to choose?"

"Well, of course, we can't invite Metallica, U2, Red Hot Chili Peppers, A-Teens, Sugar Ray, Duran Duran..."

Harley's eye was twitching slightly. Apparently, Integra noticed what type of music Harley was into. And she was not about to have a mosh pit in her house.

"...Marilyn Manson, Slayers, Megedeth, CKY, The Backstreet Boys, In Flames, Rob Zombie, and/or anyone who does any sort of satanic rock, heavy metal, and pop."

"Did you get them all, Walter?" She growled, sulking. Integra had really done her homework. Walter gave her an apologetic look.

"Harley, Valetine's Day is a week and a half away. We want music that will put our guests into the romantic mood. Surely there is some band you listen to that doesn't burst your eardrums?" The teenager thought about it. The butler watched her go deep into thought. "Wait right there, Harley; I have an idea."

She watched him leave, petting Mince. She really didn't listen to much romantic music. It made her feel all gushy and mushy. But it did make sense to get a band that does a bunch of those kinds of songs. She sat on the counter next to the kitten, thinking about Alucard and Seras. To be completely honest, she was also a little surprised that her plan was also working. Alucard wasn't exactly the touchy-feely type, much less a sappy, love-sick girly-man.

She knew he was a monster; He was a vampire. But that didn't mean he didn't have a heart. "Love is a bird.." She sang softly. "She needs to fly...Gotta love Madonna..." She smiled slightly as Walter walked back in with some CD's and a small stereo. He handed her the CD's as he plugged the stereo in.

"Let's see...Elvis..Sting...Bryan Adams..Motley Crue? Kiss? Ozzy Osbourne? Walter!" She laughed, as he gave her a sly look.

"What? Even I enjoy a good rock ballad every now and then." The teenager just giggled as she surveyed the rest.

"Classical Music...Seal...Eminem? DMX? Jimmy Buffet?" Harley started bursting out laughing at the mental picture of Walter dressed up like a thug. "You gotta be the coolest adult ever, Walter..."

"Thank you for the compliment, Harley. Now, let's get to work."

* * *

A few hours later, Walter and Harley had finally narrowed it down to who they liked the most. It wouldn't have taken as long if Harley had insisted that they listen to every CD, whether it was rap or not. The butler hadn't minded; It was amusing to watch the teenager become serious as she decided what music she liked and didn't. She hadn't like Kiss, DMX, or Jimmy Buffet. 

What she had really enjoyed was Seal, Bryan Adams, and, a little suprisingly, Elvis. "Walter? I really like this Bryan Adams dude...But isn't he some big music star back in America?" She asked, petting Mince and looking at the CD's.

Walter nodded. "When I was younger, I went to a few of his concerts when he was here in Englad," He mused, smiling. "He's an extremely nice man. And he has wonderful music..." He eyed the teenager. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Walter, if you can manage to get this guy to come here...Hell, I'll sit down and act like a friggin' doll!" She exclaimed, grinning. "That'd be awesome! This stuff'sguaranteed to make everyone all fuzzy on the inside! Even a stiff like Alucard!" Walter gently bonked the girl on the head.

"Now, now, no need to name names." He stood up. "I'm going to go talk with Sir Integra. Would you like to come along?" Harley shrugged.

"Sure. Why not? I'll get to show her the kitty!" Walter sweatdropped slightly as they walked out of the kitchen.

"What is the cat's name?"

"I dunno. Ask sleeping beauty and her beast when they wake up."

* * *

Seras pillow was hard. 

Very hard.

Without opening her eyes, she frowned. Since when did she have a rock for a pillow? This was strange. The young vampire hit it with a fist, trying to soften it. And nearly jumped when she heard a grunt. Pillows don't grunt. Pillows just pillow. She inhaled and opened her eyes at the scents. Blood, old leather, gunpowder, and she could have sworn she smelled roses.

Seras found herself face to face with a sleeping Alucard and blushed all of a sudden. She was laying on his chest, her arms wrapped around under him, while one of his arms was draped around her back, the other under his own head. And both holds were pretty tight. "..Master?" She whispered softly, unable to pull her arms out from under him. No reply; The vampire was out like a light.

The blonde sighed softly, looking over at a clock. It was five in the afternoon, a little early. She looked back at her Master, squirming slightly. "Master? Wake up..." She begged, her blush deepening.

_Good girls don't wake up on top of their Masters. _She thought, then shook her head. If one wanted to get technical, she wouldn't be classified as a "good girl" anymore; She was a vampire. But she had never been this close to any male before in her life, much less her Master. _He's never going to let me forget this..._

"Master!" She said a little louder. This time he grunted, and, to her horror, turned over. Now, he was on top of her. She froze instantly, her cheeks burning. Her eye twitched, and she was forced to refrain from slapping him. He was asleep; He had no idea what he was doing.

Right? Right.

"Master! Wake up!" Her voice was more frantic now. She wanted him off, but his grip was like steel. Plus, he slept like a rock. Deciding that there was only one way to do this, she took a deep breath.

**"MASTER! WAKE! UP!"**

The elder vampire jumped up and promptly fell off the bed in surprise. Seras pulled the blanket over her head to hide her blush. Alucard sat up, rubbing the bump on his head, looking very confused and sleepy. "What? What's happening?" He asked, yawning. "And why did you yell?"

"Because you wouldn't wake up, Master..."She answered in a shaky voice.

"Why did I need to wake up?" He was a little annoyed that it was so early, though he blinked as he saw Seras with a blanket over her head. "..Why are you hiding under a blanket?"

"I'm cold." This was a lie, and both knew it. Alucard stood up, stretching and yawning widely. "And...you...wouldn't let go of me.." Her blush was so deep, she was sure Alucard could see it. And before she could even think of reacting, the blanket was pulled off, and Seras once again found herself face to face with Alucard.

"Master!"

"What?" He asked, blinking. "Why are you blushing so much? I don't see what all the fuss is for."

Seras was at a loss. She didn't think she could explain to him why sleeping on top of him was wrong without dying of embarassment. Instead, she just bowed her head, trying not to blush further. The elder vampire watched her before understanding.

"Ah..I see," He said softly. He grinned, chuckling and patting her on the head. "Police Girl, you're so innocent. It's adorable." She watched him suspiciously for any signs of deception. Suprisingly, there was none, which confused her.

"...Thank...you?"

"Don't mention it, and I won't mention that we were sleeping together." He grinned wickedly. There was the Master she knew. Though still trying not to blush, she grinned back, climbing out of the bed and rubbing the wrinkles out of her clothes. He yawned and stretched once more before cocking his head, listening.

"What is it?" Seras asked. She didn't hear anything. Alucard chuckled, grabbing Seras' hand.

"Seems like the shrimp is trying to play the piano again," He mused, chuckling and walking out, pulling her along. She walked faster to keep up, ignoring the fact that he was holding her hand.

"We have a piano?"

"In the library. And by the sound of it, Harley's rusty..."

Sure enough, as they got closer, the sound of music reached the blonde's ears. It was Fur Elise, though a few notes were off. They walked into the library, looking around. Harley was extremely focused on a piece of music while Walter sipped tea in a chair. He smiled at them. "Good evening," He greeted. "Sleep well?"

Alucard shrugged, walking over to him. "I've slept better," He replied vaguely, noting how Harley messed up slightly at the ridicule of her bed. She stopped, glaring knives at him, but staying silent. He smirked at her. "What's the matter? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"No, my guardian's an ass," She growled softly as Seras sat down beside her, smiling. "He's dumb, stupid, and should go back to Germany and drop dead."

Seras blinked when Mince hopped into her lap, purring loudly when she got petted. "What happened?" She asked as Harley tried playing the piano again.

"Mr.Anders called and..well...He wanted to take Harley back early," Walter started to explain but silenced when the piano became louder.

"Wow! When you're upset, you're actually GOOD!" Alucard teased to her over the music.

"One more word out of you, and I swear, I will make your undead life a living hell!" She snarled. She was in a bad mood, and he wasn't helping at all. Seras patted her head soothingly, though it made Harley feel like a puppy. "Sorry, Seras...I'm just...I wanna scream...Jerk wants me to come back when the house ain't even done. Claims we can stay at a hotel. Yeah. Right. Like I'm stayin' at a hotel. And before the Valentine's Day Ball even! The nerve..."

This was the first Seras had heard of the ball and looked up at her Master questioningly. "You haven't heard yet?" He said, surprised. He was sure Harley would have ran all over the place screaming about it. "Shrimp here convinced Integra to have a ball on Valentine's Day..."

"It's for you, Seras," The teen replied a little vaguely as she tried her luck on Moonlight Sonata. "To cheer you up."

"Me?" She exclaimed, a little shocked. "Harley..You don't have to go through too much-"

"Shush, it's too late now. We're pulling everything together. We thought it'd be good for the soldiers, too. Everyone gets a chance to chill and have a good time..." She missed a note, causing her eye to twitch as Alucard chuckled. "Okay, smart-ass, YOU come over here and do it!"

She stood up and pointed to the piano bench. He smirked and sat down, cracking his knuckles. The teen sat down beside Walter, sulking. "Don't hurt yourself," She growled. He only grinned as he started to play. And the vampire was actually very good. He played Moonlight Sonata the entire way through, and just to get on Harley's nerves, then played the Turkish March.

Harley would have left the room if it hadn't been for Walter's suggestion: "Why don't we teach Seras how to waltz?"

Both Seras and Harley blinked. "Just the Waltz?" She said, crossing her arms. "How about the Gavotte too?" The butler nodded, and she grinned, grabbing Alucard's arm and pulling him away from the piano.

"What? Why do you need me?" He snapped, glaring at her.

"Because you're old, therefore you know the Gavotte," She replied, smirking. The vampire rolled his eyes as Walter started to play themusic.

* * *

The Gavotte was an extremely entertaining dance. What made it even better was the fact that Alucard and Harley looked dead serious as they did it. Seras couldn't help but laugh out loud. While they danced, Walter was explaining the dance to her. It was from France, consisting of a large circle of couples, the main one in the center. They would bow and curtesy to each other before the male would stamp his foot impatiently while the female took her sweet time taking his hand. 

They would circle each other before being pulled into each other arms, the female looking over her shoulder at him. She would spin out, nod her head, and move to the next partner. Seras would have never gotten it, though, without a visual reference. What made it even funnier was the death threats the two spat at each other as they danced.

Finally, both got bored and seperated. "You stepped on my foot, vampire..."

"It's cause you're so short, human..."

They glared at each other steadily before Harley grabbed Seras' arm and pushed her toward Alucard. "Alright, your turn, chick!" She proclaimed, grinning with satisfaction at the blush on the older woman's cheeks. "Don't worry; It's a lot easier than you think. Just have fun with it!"

Seras looked a little unsure as Walter and Harley shared a knowing look. "I'll help, Police Girl," Alucard reassured, smiling. Walter started playing slowly at first, so Seras could get used to it. She missed the steps a few times, but the elder vampire guided her through it. And after a few tries, she started getting the hang of it.

"Seras and Alucard are good dance partners," The teen whispered to Walter when they were sure the two were distracted. The butler nodded, chuckling.

"Harley, you little scamp..." He scolded gently.

"Hey, they're dancing together willingly. All I did was push."

"What are you two over there whispering about?" Alucard called, giving them a slightly wary look.

"About how your timing was off!" Harley replied, laughing. "Getting tired, vamp?"

"In your dreams, human..."

Finally, Seras could perform the Gavotte very well, well enough for her to start getting tired of it. "I know how to waltz a little," She told the teen, who was petting Mince happily. "And before I forget, the cat's name is Mince."

"Sweet!" She exclaimed, grinning and then looking at Walter. "Hey, do you remember that play you made me and Integra go to a couple years ago?"

"I did NOT make you go," Walter corrected. "I just strongly urged you to. And the play was Cinderella..."

"Yeah, yeah! What was the song playing when all the peeps started waltzing? Something about meeting you?" She asked, ignoring Alucard's groan from behind her.

Walter played a few chords. "This one?" Harley nodded, once again pushing Seras and Alucard together.

"You play that," She instructed, resuming her position by the piano. "Alucard, go slow so Seras can keep up."

"Yes, Master," The vampire grumbled mockingly. "But only if you sing the words. Period." Harley shot him a very, very dark look but sighed and nodded.

"Fine. Jerk."

Walter started playing while the teen crossed her arms, clearing her throat. "Ten minutes ago, I saw you. I looked up when you came through the door," She sang slowly, keeping up with both Walter and the dancing couple. "My head starting reeling! You gave me the feeling the room had no cieling or floor!"

"Count to six," Alucard whispered to Seras, who stumbled a few times. "Just keep repeating it over and over. It's just a rhythm thing."

"Ten minutes ago, I met you, and we murmered our how-do-you-do's. I wanted to ring out the bells, and fling out my arms, and to sing out the news! I have found her; She's an angel, with the dust of the stars in her eyes. We are dancing; We are flying! And she's taking me back to the skies!"

Seras giggled as Alucard rolled his eyes at the lyrics. "Cheer up, Master!" She said. "Get into the spirit!"

"Of what?"

"The music!"

"In the arms of my love, I'm flying over moutain and meadow and glenn. And I like it so well that for all I can tell I may never come down again!" Harley started over, picking up speed with the music. The blonde started to hum it softly, finding it helping her keep count. And soon, she didn't even need to count.

Of course, all this was causing much noise, so Integra came to investigate. She stared at everyone in surprise, even more so when Harley grabbed her. "Come on, Integra!" She said, laughing. "It's the song from Cinderella! We're teaching Seras how to dance!"

The woman protested, but it fell onto deaf ears as the teen just started singing again, making her dance. At this point, Seras was singing, while Alucard was humming it under his breath. Walter was just laughing at the sight of the Ice Queen and aristocratic vampire of Hellsing waltzing and singing.

They all danced for a good hour, switching partners and making up their own lyrics, such as Alucard's lovely: "Ten minutes, I bit you! I looked down when you fell to the floor!" Finally, Integra and Harley were tired, Walter's fingers hurt, and Alucard had the song permanently stuck in his head.

"Alright, alright, enough!" Integra panted, laughing. "No more dancing, Harley; I'm tired now."

Harley smiled at her, wiping some sweat from her brow. "Nice workout, eh?" She asked. She turned to Seras, who had a slightly dreamy look in her crimson eyes. "How about it, Seras? Think you got it now?" The draculina could only nod. "Good."

She grabbed Integra and Walter suddenly. "I'm hungry! Let's order pizza!" She suggested, walking quickly away, leaving Alucard and Seras alone.

"You're a good dancer, Police Girl," The vampire complimented, cracking his knuckles. "A natural even. How do you feel?"

Seras just smiled at him, pretty sure that, for the first time in a while, she couldn't be happier.

* * *

**(squeals) I LOVE FLUFF! (runs around) FLUFFY FLUFF, COTTON CANDY FLUFF! I hope this satisfies your fluffy sweet tooth! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I hope you all did too.**

**Adios!**


	11. Advice and Pizza

**Sorry this is late everyone, I've had an extremely stressful 2 weeks. A lot was going on and I literally sometimes didn't get on the computer until midnight, only alert enough to check my mail. But, it's over, things are starting to calm down, though it seems like this bad cough o' mine refuses to leave.**

**As always, thanks for the reviews and since it will soon be summer, the updates will be coming quicker. Until then, please bear with me.**

**On a side note, everyone should get "Phantom of the Opera." It ROCKS.**

**Edited by Itaki, the beta-beta.**

**Disclaimer: I only own this headache and Harley.**

* * *

Something was bothering Alucard. 

In the darkness of his room, he lifted his hat off his eyes, sighing, turning his gaze to the ceiling. He hated being bothered by himself. All he wanted to do was relax, but his mind wouldn't let him. Like a broken record, it kept playing the events earlier that night over and over again. And whenever it did, he felt that pang in his chest that he had only felt a few times before.

He didn't understand it. And it bothered him.

The vampire closed his eyes, sighing again. "What's the matter with me..." He asked the silence. "What am I feeling? Happy? Sad? What the hell gives?" He stood up, walking through his door and up the stairs. He needed some answers, and there was one person who'd give them to him, willingly or not.

* * *

Alucard was extremely surprised when he walked into Harley's room.It was almost three A.M., and the teenager was awake, staring at the TV with bleary eyes. A playstation controller was in her hands, a strategy guide to her left, a half empty 2-liter bottle of Pepsi to her right. She didn't even acknowledge Alucard's presence until he tapped her on the shoulder. 

The teen jumped slightly. "Dammit, Alucard, you could at least knock," She growled, squinting her eyes at the TV. He looked at it, blinking at the woman in a blue tube top carrying a shotgun. She reminded him of a certain someone, and he groaned.

"What are you playing?" He asked, becoming very interested when she started blowing the heads off of zombies. "Are those ghouls?"

"I'm playing Resident Evil 3: Nemesis. And those are zombies," She answered, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Ghouls die when the Big Daddy's dead, zombies don't die unless you shoot them..." The vampire nodded, becoming silent until Harley paused the game. She looked up at him.

"Alright, what do you want? It's three in the morning, and I ain't exactly in the mood for you bugging me," She said, crossing her arms. Alucard didn't answer, stretching his arms and sitting on her bed. A flicker of annoyance flashed in the teen's eyes, but it was quickly gone. "Well?"

Alucard looked at her and closed his eyes. "What's love?"

Harley froze, staring at him. She slowly stood up, searching his face for any signs of mockery. Suprisingly, there was none. His question had caught her totally off guard, especially since he asked it with such simplicity. She opened her mouth and closed it.

"Uhhhh..." She started, trying to think. "Love is...Love is..." She started pacing slighty, Alucard watching her. "Love is when you can stand to be around someone for a prolonged period of time."

The vampire cocked his head a little to the side. Harley groaned, shaking her head. "No, no, that didn't come out right...Why do you want to know what love is?" She crossed her arms. "Vampires are supposed to be the 'Masters of Seduction.'"

"I know that seduction and love are two different things," He said. "But you're a human; You know love. What's it like?" He reminded her of an eager child.

Harley thought about it, sitting down beside him. "...Love is...when...you're willing to do anything for a person. Willing to die, willing to lie, steal, do whatever it takes to be with them," She said thoughtfully. "You're happy to be around them. You can stand being around them..." She looked at him. "...Would this question concern a certain someone..?"

Alucard's silence was answer enough.

The teen picked up the Pepsi bottle and took a sip, thinking. "I see. Anything I should know about?"

More silence.

"...It's confusing," He admitted quietly, smiling. Harley stared at it, once again caught off guard. This Alucard was nothing like the one she was used to.

"..You...making some kind of confession?"

"I don't know. I have no idea how I feel, actually." He looked thoughtful. "I've never seen Seras so happy before. Its nice. Seeing her smiling and laughing." He chuckled, shaking his head. "Listen to me...I probably sound like a fool. Just ignore me, I'm just rambling."

The teen watched him out of the corner of her eye and sat down beside him again. She took a deep breath and let it out. "You don't sound like a fool," She said, crossing her arms. "And if you were ramblin', I'd hit you. I haven't known Seras as long as you, obviously, but she's definetly prettier when she's laughing." She gave him a wry smile, nudging him. "Admit it."

"I'll do no such thing as to give you the satisfaction of catching me off guard," He replied dryly, wondering if he worded that right.

"But, here's some advice. Some girls want fame, some want money. Some want to be the boss, others want to serve. Some are tense, some just chill. Some can't commit, some won't let you go. But..." She winked at the vampire. "Seras isn't like other girls, is she?"

Alucard watched her a little warily, feeling more confused now. "..."

"She isn't," She answered for him. "Therefore, we can't go about this...I guess, normally. But, first things first: How many nice clothes does Seras have?"

The vampire thought about it. He knew she had her uniform, some jeans, and a few shirts. But nothing overly fancy. He then caught onto why Harley was asking this question. "Nothing she could wear to your little ball..."

"Good. I can fix that. Tomorrow." She started pushing Alucard off her bed. "Until then, go away, and let me think."

He glared at her, letting himself be pushed. "You're hyped up on caffeine. There's no way you can think OR sleep."

"When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it," She growled. "Now, let me alone, or I swear, bad things will happen to you." This was a completely dry threat, but Alucard needed some time to think, and Harley needed to kill some zombies.

"In your dreams, human," Alucard replied, just to get the last word as he walked through the door and down to the basement. He started walking by his fledgling's door but stopped, suddenly curious as to what she was doing. Poking his head through the door, he was surprised to find Seras laying on her stomach, listening to a CD player.

From all the rock stickers, it was obviously Harley's.

Mince was sitting on her back, curled up into a ball, purring happily. Seras's eyes were closed, and she was humming along softly to whatever she was listening to. She had no idea her Master was watching her.

Smiling slightly, he pulled his head back out and went to the sanctuary of his room.

* * *

"Walter, why is it so quiet?" Integra asked the next day, looking around suspiciously. It was nearly noon, but there were no sounds of running, of yelling, of curses, of anything. It was a strange and eerie silence. And it made the woman wonder if Alucard had done something to a certain teenager in the house. She wouldn't mention her name, since something would end up exploding, and that would be just her luck. 

"Harley's still sleeping," The butler replied, smiling slightly. He had went in there earlier to check on her, and she was out like a light. "I assume she stayed up late again last night. Do you wish for me to wake her?"

The woman sighed softly. "As much as she needs to sleep and not cause mischief, I need her today. A cook is coming, and we're going to need her opinions." Though Walter did all of her cooking, he would busy with other things, so this would be a big help to him. "Go wake her, and tell her I need to see her."

Walter nodded, turning and walking out.

* * *

Harley pulled the blanket over her head when Walter pulled open the curtains in her room, moaning. "Go away..." She begged, curling into a tight ball. "Let me sleep...I was up all frigging night long..." 

"And whose fault would that be?" Walter asked wisely.

"Alucard's."

"That figures. But really, wake up. It's nearly noon, and Sir Integra requests your presence," He told her as he yanked the blanket off her. The teen tried to hide under her pillows but failed miserably. "Come now, let's not keep her waiting."

"I swear, if that damn vampire..." She grumbled, trailing off as she climbed off the bed, rubbing her eyes. She hadn't bothered to change her clothes last night, so her jeans and tanktop were extremely rumpled and wrinkled. Her hair was sticking up in random places, and she was squinting. And, though Walter couldn't understand most she was saying, he clearly heard "zombies, "Alucard," and "stupid B.O.W.'s."

She made her way to Integra's office, slowly waking up, still cursing very softly underneath her breath. "Why'd we have to wake me up?" She asked to the blonde woman when she first walked in. "I'm tired!"

"Because I'm going to need your help today," She answered, ignoring Harley's half-hearted glare of annoyance.

"With what?"

"A cook's coming today to help with the arrangements for food. Much as I fear it, you're as opinionated as it gets. And right now, that's a good thing."

Apparently, this was at times, because Harley refrained from giving Integra her true opinion of getting woken up when she only had about three hours of sleep.

The teen yawned and stretched, her eyes half open. "Aight. Whatever. I'll help, I guess. Not like I have anything better to do." She turned to walk out.

"Harley, two more things," Integra called, standing up. To Harley's surprise, she was holding Mince, who was yawning. "Take this, and I'd take a shower if I were you." The teen sweatdropped slightly, taking the kitten and laughing nervously as she quickly walked out before Integra gave HER opinion on having a cat in the house.

* * *

A half hour later, Harley hopped down the stairs with wet hair and a huge T-shirt that said "42nd Street" on it and shorts. "Hungry, Mince?" She asked the kitten, who was hitching a ride on her shoulder. The kitten meowed, yawning again. "I'll take that as a yes...We don't have any catfood yet, so you get fish, ok?" The cat only meowed again. 

The pair walked into the kitchen, and Harley opened the fridge, pulling out some leftover pizza and some tuna. She made a face when she opened the can in disgust. "Yuck," She murmered, putting it in a bowl and setting it on the counter next to Mince. "I'll stick to mycold pizza, thank you very much..."

She took out a piece, setting it on a paper towel and putting it back inside the fridge. And she was about to take a bite when, seemingly out of nowhere, a hand snatched it away. It took Harley a few moments to assess this information as she stared at the space where her beloved pizza had been only moments before.

"...What...the...hell?" She exclaimed, standing up and getting hit on the head by what felt like a rolled up magazine.

"Children should not curse!" Avery strict and very angry voice snapped. The teen backed up, staring angrily at the woman who apparently stole her pizza and hit her on the head. She was a little taller than Harley, but just barely, with black hair streaked with white, cold brown eyes, and a thin line for a mouth. She was dressed in the attire of a chef, and the magazine in her hand was a cooking one.

"Nor should they have any sort of animal in the kitchen or even think of eating THIS-" She gestured to the poor piece of pizza,"- For breakfast!"

Harley could not stop the next words that came out of her mouth: "Oh my god, Integra hired Bitch-Zilla!"

* * *

**This is the last week of school! (dances around) Be happy! More stories! More updating! More randomness! More of my idiotic authoress notes!**

**Sorry for the delay again, everyone. o.o I hope you all find it in your hearts to forgive me. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter: Who is this evil cook woman? What does she have in store for Mince and Harley? And what do you say when you hear the words, "Wasabi Cookies?"**

**You know the drill! Adios! (Oh, and I know the japanese "Sayonara" but I prefer to use "Adios". o-o Just a personal preference.)**


	12. Trust

**o.o Thanks for all the japanese, Sanoske, but once upon a time, I used to LOVE Inuyasha. And I put a TON of time and effort into learning as much japanese as I possibly could to use in my fanfiction because...o.o everyone had japanese in their Inuyasha fanficton. But, now I pretty much HATE Inuyasha, but thanks for the words!(scribbles them down for use in Samurai Champloo)**

**Good news! I'm now officially free! That means quicker updates, if not longer ones. That also means that I get a chance to start that Resident Evil fic...(gets hit by Itaki) ITAI!**

**Edited and approved by Itaki the beta-beta**

**Disclaimer: TT I don't own Hellsing, but we shall get Harley's pizza back...**

* * *

Needless to say, the next few things that happened were not very fun. As soon as she realized her mistake, Harley clamped a hand over her mouth, blushing furiously and cursing more inwardly. The chef was absolutely still, which scared the teen. She'd seen these types of tempers before; A minute more, and the woman was going to explode. So, instead of waiting for this explosion, she decided to take the easy way out! 

She grabbed Mince and bolted out of the kitchen in time to hear the woman start screaming out some extremely vulgar words in french. This woman had a massive pair of lungs, since Alucard heard her down in the basement. She tore after Harley and started hitting her repeatedly on the head until Walter managed to interfere.

It took him a solid hour to calm the chef down while Harley plastered herself againist the wall, too scared to move. Mince was sitting on her head, glaring at the very loud woman in her cat-like fasion. She meowed, and Harley patted her head. She started to creep out of the room when Walter's voice stopped her.

"Unless you're going to go throw yourself at Sir Integra's feet, Harley, I suggest you stay right where you are."

She gulped, sweatdropping. "I'm gonna go throw myself at Integra's feet!" She called, bolting out of the room and into Integra's office. And she actually did throw herself at Integra's feet...Well, her desk, and started scraming about how sorry she was, she'd never do it again, don't handcuff her to the bed.

Needless to say, Integra had no earthly idea what Harley was apologizing for. Then it hit her that Harley WAS apologizing, and that either meant she blew something up or messed up big time. Of course, Harley was shouting what had happened, so all Integra had to do was listen and take some advil for the headache she was getting.

"...Are you finished?" Integra asked after 10 minutes of shouting. Harley's voice was now shot, so she nodded, looking miserable. "Alright then...So let me get this straight...You were eating pizza.."

Nod.

"...Minding your own business..."

Another nod.

"...And the chef I hired...Stole your pizza...And insulted Mince..."

Mince meowed.

"...So...you called her Bitch-zilla..."

Silence.

Integra sighed, rubbing her temples and walking over to Harley, who stood up, though her head was bowed. "Do you feel bad for what you did?" A nod. "Are you going to do it again?" That's when Harley hesitated. Sure, she felt horrible, but it was a little hard to keep quiet with someone like the Chef around.

"..I'll try..." She muttered, unable to make any promises. But Integra was content with this, so she nodded and they walked back into the room with Walter and the woman.

She shot an icy glare at Harley and Mince, the cat hissing. Harley winced. This wasn't going to be easy...She was going to need some help..

"I'll be right back, Integra," She announced and ran out of the room and to the basement.

* * *

_How do I get myself into these things...? _Alucard thought sleepily as he followed an extremely happy Harley up the basement stairs. All he had been trying to do was go back to sleep, but NO. No, Harley needed help, and he was the prime candidate. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right, and he had no idea why he was doing this. 

"You owe me shrimp," He growled, yawning widely, exposing his sharp canines on purpose. But the teen ignored it. "Big time..."

"Don't worry, whatever you want, I'll get you," She reassured as they walked into the room. Integra and Walter stared at Alucard, while he stared at the woman.

"..Good...morning, Alucard," Integra recovered quickly from her surprise. "What brings you here?" He pointed to Harley, who looked chipper, making Integra wonder if she was slightly Bi-Polar. "Alucard, Harley, this is Constantine. She's with us today to decide what to serve at the ball."

Alucard was still staring at the woman.

She stared right back at him.

_This woman makes ME nervous... _He told Harley, who nodded slightly. _What are "wasabi cookies?"_

Harley stared at him, paling. _Why do you ask?_

_Because that woman over there is thinking about them..._

* * *

Harley loved food, but after three hours of trying all sorts of different dishes, she didn't care if she ever ate again. She actually envied Alucard's diet of nothing but blood and the occasional lollipop. But he wasn't so high and mighty; He was as sick as her. So was poor Mince. 

Integra and Walter had left the trio with Constantine after they figured they were calm. If they have stayed, the evil that occured probably wouldn't have happened. But now they had more respect for taste-testers.

She made them try everything, and we mean everything, from fish sticks to sushi, and anything in between. Most had been alright; Passable to say the least. Anything Harley didn't like, she fed to Mince. And if Mince didn't like it, she'd give it to Alucard. Sure, he didn't eat it, but it was the thought that counted, right?

That was, until Constantine whipped out her "lastest creation." Apparently, she had afascination with wasubi since she was partly japanese on her mother's side, two sides removed. She loved wasabi on anything and everything, and she wanted the trio to also.

And she pulled out a batch of Wasabi cookies.

These cookies seemed to insult the very essence of cookies. They were tinged with green blotches, giving an extremely moldy or sick appearence. Harley cringed because they looked horrible; Mince and Alucard cringed because it smelled horrible. "Well?" Constantine had said, handing Alucard and Harley a cookie. "Go on, try it! Don't be shy!"

The two looked at each other, gulping. They counted to three, said a prayer, and took a bite.

And bolted for the nearest bathroom.

Mince had blinked and looked at one of the cookies curiously.And also took a bite. Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it made the kitten as sick as the teen and vampire.

Constantine was outraged, raging once more, once more being calmed by Walter and a cup of tea. And while everyone else was puking their guts out, Integra got what she needed done. Constantine had a list of food to be used. The wasabi cookies were not included.

But Alucard, Mince, and Harley couldn't properly celebrate because, well, they couldn't exactly move away from the toilet/litterbox. And Alucard had it the worst since he already couldn't take much human food, let alone the cruelest cookie ever designed.

Alucard decided that, somehow, this was Harley's fault, and she was going to get it.

Revenge is best served cold.

* * *

Seras woke up later, blinking since there was silence around her. She had gotten used to Harley and Alucard screaming at each other, so this was a mixed blessing. She climbed out of her coffin-bed, stretched and yawned briefly before walking out. The hallway was silent, and no one answered when she knocked on Alucard's door. 

"This can't be good," She murmered softly to herself. "And I can't find Mince..." Trotting up the stairs, she spotted Walter and ran up to him, smiling.

"Hello, Ms.Victoria," He greeted, returning her smile. "If you're wondering where your Master and Harley are, you'll find them up on the roof. They're still...um, recovering from earlier today."

"What happened earlier today?" She asked, blinking as Walter chuckled softly to himself.

"Let's just say that Alucard and Harley are going to be placid for a while."

* * *

"Hey," Harley mumbled, looking at Alucard, who was spread-eagle on the roof, eyes closed. She was looking over the side, looking at the ground. He grunted, not moving. "You think a fall from this high will kill me?" 

"Why?" He grumbled, growling when Mince hopped onto his stomach, meowing. Unlike those two, she felt much better after eating some grass and napping.

"Because I want to die...And I never got my pizza back!"

Alucard lifted his head, glaring at her with his red eyes. "Oh, shut up, At least your system will be back after a few hours," He snapped. He was going to be sick for days.

"Stop being a wimp," She snapped back. Both were about to get into it when Seras opened the door and walked out. Mince meowed, bounding happily to her, rubbing againist her legs.

The draculina smiled, picking her up. "Walter said you guys would be up here," She said as she petted the kitten, looking at Alucard and Harley. "What happened?"

"Wasabi cookies from hell," Harley answered, groaning and closing her eyes. "That's all I'm saying." Seras nodded, looking at Alucard curiously.

"I do NOT want to move," He grumbled, narrowing his eyes at her. "The only way you could know how I feel at this moment would be to be punched and shot repeatedly in the stomach with silver knuckles and bullets doused with holy water..."

The blonde woman winced and nodded as Harley stood up, gently nudging Alucard's leg. "Let's play that game," She suggested, crossing her arms. Alucard stood up, brushing himself off, glaring at her. "You know? That game we used to play a few years ago?"

"What's it called?" Seras asked, unable to picture her Master playing any sort of game that didn't involve killing.

"It's called 'Trust', and it's really fun!" Harley said, smiling. "And its really easy to play!" She trotted over to the edge of the huge building and hopped onto it. "You just climb right here..." Seras' eeys grew wide as she suddenly understood what that crazy ass teenager was about to pull. "And you jump!"

Which Harley promptly did, much to Seras' horror! And while she was freaking out, Alucard calmly sighed, walked to the side and jumped after her.

* * *

Integra was busy lecturing a lazy soldier when Harley came flying past her window, laughing, with some shadows right behind her. Integra, of course, had no idea this was happening. But the soldier noticed, his eyes growing absolutely huge. The blonde woman smirked, thinking that she was getting somewhere, totally unaware of the chaos behind her. 

Somehow, Alucard and Harley "persuaded" Seras to jump, so she came hurtling by the window, silently screaming until Alucard caught her. The process was repeated, the soldier very sure he was just hallucinating. That was, until the trio decided to pull a "prank."

While the poor soldier tried to concentrate on Integra, Harley's head popped up beside the window, upside down, grinning like a maniac. Seras' then appeared, and both waved at the man. Alucard was holding onto their legs, muttering under his breath. "Hurry UP, you two!" He hissed, just for the sake of complaining. He was watching Mince watching him from the roof.

The two females made faces at the man, giggling like nutcases until Alucard pulled them back up and to the roof. Harley got off of him first, while Seras reached for the side and suddenly yelped as her arm went through it. The yelp startled Alucard, and he let go, attempting to figure out what was going on as Seras rocketed towards the ground halfway inside the wall.

And just as the elder vampire was about to tear after her, she suddenly disappeared, only to reappear on the roof. Harley and Alucard stared at her with wide eyes as she attempted to figure out what just happened. "...Uhhh..." She said, rubbing the back of her neck. "...What...did I do?"

She yelped again when Alucard nearly tackled her, lifting her off her feet, looking giddy. "You did it, Police Girl!" he cried, hugging her happily while Harley stared at them and at Mince. "You're getting your vampire powers!" He then did something that no one really saw coming.

He kissed Seras.

Seras was so caught off guard that she phased through the roof, taking Alucard with her. They went through room after room, even going through Integra's office and through her desk.

Integra acted like this was nothing at all.

But the poor soldier had enough and flew out of the room screaming.

And up on the roof, Harley was wondering if playing Matchmaker was starting to pay off.

* * *

**MUHA! They kissed! o-o I KNOW Itaki has been waiting for that to happen...**

**Sorry this is late, but I've been uber busy again, but now it's summer and I have nothing to do! Sorry for being late, and thanks for understanding everyone!**

**Also, the next chapter will mostly focus on the Vatican, you'll see what I mean. n-n While I love AxS, I also love bringing out other character pairings. o-o Tis a habit of mine.**

**Anyways, you know the drill!**

**Adios!**


	13. StarBucks Bound

**Wow...230 reviews...That is more reviews that I have EVER gotten!(Teary Eyes) You guys really like me..**

**On a totally unrelated note, I got a Xanga! o.o That means that you people can SEE WHY I'm so lazy! X3 And perhaps seen some of Itaki the beta-beta's fanart. o.o She still owes me a Hellsing pic, I haven't forgotten... Link's in my profile.**

**Now, th next two chapters will be about the other pairings in the story IE IxM and I refuse to tell the other one. Because if you don't know...o.o Well. Bleh. Some people suggested it. **

**One special shoutout to Dawnie-sama!(hugs her) Thank you SO much for reviewing! You have NO idea how much it means to me! And everyone should go check out her fanart! SHE'S ROCKS. (n.n but I still wuv my Itaki's fanarts above anyone else's.)**

**Disclaimer: I only own Harley and the crazy things on her shirt.**

* * *

After spending half the night trying to calm down Seras, Harley was in no mood to do anything but sleep. The blonde vampire had practically refused to show her face, her pale cheeks burning bright red. The teen had half a mind to go mouth off to Alucard, to get HIM to fix it, but she was suprised that he had the capability of being romantic. And since this was what she'd been aiming for, she grit her teeth and tried to get Seras to look normal again. 

While this was much easier said than done, Harley managed to convince Seras that it was a great thing that Alucard kissed her, it should happen more often, she was getting her vampiric powers. She was finally able to go to sleep around four in the morning, looking forward to sleeping until noon.

Unfortunately, Integra had other plans.

Today was the day she was supposed to meet Father Enrico Maxwell to discuss the ball. That in itself was grindingagainst her nerves, but while Harley was playing the Love Doctor, she had come up with a plan. One could call it punishment, but since Harley would find loopholes if she said that, it was a "suggestion that you have no choice but obeying."

Integra woke up at eight, sporting a grin Alucard would have been proud of. She'd already told Walter what she planned to do. "In fact, I don't even think you should come, Walter," She told him. "Harley by herself is enough to strike fear into the hearts of any adult who thinks children should be civilized. We shouldn't have any problems, especially not out in public."

"Where are you going, Sir?" Walter asked, curious. He hadn't seen Integra look so...Alucard-ish in a while.

"The one place where Maxwell would never dare to try something," She replied, looking extremely devilish. Walter blinked.

"Church?"

"Other than that." She chuckled. "Starbucks."

* * *

There was a noise. In the foggiest recesses of her mind, Harley could hear a noise. This noise was pissing her off, simply because of the fact that she was conscience enough to know that she was hearing it. Practically snarling, she opened her eyes, ready to deathglare whatever dared to interrupt her beloved sleep. 

She found herself staring right into Integar's own blue eyes.

Harley shrieked from suprise and fell off her bed, hitting the floor hard. "INTEGRA!" She yelped, rubbing her wounded bottom. "What's the big idea? I'm trying to sleep over here!" The woman chuckled, her arms crossed, grinning at the teen.

"Time for you to get up," She said. "And get dressed. We're leaving in an hour." Harley stood up, rubbing her head and blinking.

"Wha? Leaving? For where? And why so early?"

"Yes, we're leaving for the city, and it's only nine o' clock. We're going to meet the Vatican today. I only think it's fair that since it was your idea that you should also have the privilege of meeting them." Harley stared at her like she was insane.

"Wait a sec," She said, shaking her head. "I gotta go? But I barely got any sleep last night! I don't do good with holy folk around! I haven't been to church in ten years! Priests can smell these things!" Integra had to laugh at the excuses Harley was dishing out. She knew that the teen would put up a fight, but not such an entertaining one.

"You have two choices, Harley," She said, smiling. "You can stay here-" Harley's face lit up,"-and have to stay in this room, not being allowed to go anywhere else except to the bathroom. You would only be allowed to eat, sleep, and breathe. You will not be allowed to do anything that could be considered 'fun', nor shall you be allowed any sort of mental contact with Alucard. And if you do, I shall put aluminim foil on your head and a bullet in his."

Harley's eyes were huge at the prospect of being forced to be in one room, twenty-four hours a day with nothing to do. It was her worst nightmare; She'd probably explode. "...Fine, I'll go," She growled. "But I ain't gonna like it..."

"We're going to Starbucks."

"Have I told you how much of a good person you are, Integra?" Harley said, switching moods almost immediately. Integra smirked, patting her on the head.

"Just hurry and get dressed."

* * *

A half hour later, Harley was jogging down the stair case quickly pulling her hair up to the best of her ability. She'd just spent about fifteen minutes trying to figure out what one would wear in the presence of Holy Men. During this period, Mince showed up, rubbing againist the teen's legs and meowing loudly. She was hungry and demanding to be fed. Harley ignored her a little and finally figured out what to wear. 

Integra stared at her as she rushed down the stairs and bolted into the kitchen, juggling Mince and a small backpack. "Five minutes!" She said as she ran past, nearly tripping over her own feet. The blonde woman crossed her arms, tempted to light a cigar, but decided againist it. No use to smoke yet until she had a reason to.

Harley came rushing back out five minutes later, panting. "S-sorry," She apologized, rubbing her eyes as Integra surveryed her clothes. It was simple, at least compared to most of the clothes Harley loved: Just a black tanktop that read "Nittle Grasper" in white letters and some camo pants. The only jewelry she had on was a small cross and a leather bracelet. A black jacket was wrapped around her waist, and to top it off, Mince was happily sitting on her shoulder.

Integra pointed to the cat, who meowed happily. "Every time I put her down, she digs her claws into my legs," Harley murmered. "Besides, I need to get some kitty food to feed her..." The blonde woman raised an eyebrow, debating whether or not to let the kitten come.

_Maybe Maxwell's allergic to cats..._ She thought with a grin and nodded.

"Alright, she can come. Now, let's hurry up. It's 9:30, we need to be there by 10:30, and I'm not sure how traffic will be..."

"Uhh...I have one question..." Harley said, looking at her. "Not that I'm complaining, but why are we going to Starbucks of all places? I mean, it's not exactly the place I woulda picked..."

"That's because you would have picked out some place that includes Jolt Cola, Playstation games, and all the headbanging music you could get your hands on..."

The teen thought about this for a moment. "...Touche, Integra...You win this round-"

"I also won the last."

They eyed each other for a minute. "...No need to be a smart ass..."

"March outside, Harley, before I make it so you become handcuffed to your bed."

Harley **ran** outside.

* * *

Suprisingly, the Starbucks was nearly empty, save for a few old men reading papers. Harley had hid Mince in her back pack, just in case cats weren't allowed. They weren't. "Hey, Integra?" Harley said as they sat down. "Any of these old farts with the Vatican?" 

Integra chuckled, shaking her head. "No, Maxwell is actually young."

"How young?"

The blonde woman shrugged. She really didn't know, though in her opinion, he acted like a five year old. "Younger than most." Harley fell silent, looking around. Integra watched her, mentally timing how long it would be before she got bored. She was amazed that after five minutes, the teen hadn't done anything to show she was bored in the least.

_Could it be possible that Harley is maturing?_

Harley suddenly plastered herself to the window. "INTEGRA! CHECK OUT THAT HOT GUY!" She cried, practically drooling. "THE GUY WITH THE BLONDE HAIR AND SUNGLASSES! I THINK HE'S A COP!" She grinned. "And if he is, he can handcuff me ANYDAY, MAN he is gorgeous."

Integra sweatdropped. _Nope, just my imagination._

"No, hey, come back, cutie!" She cried to the man. "Hey, don't leave, come in, get some coffee!" The man actually turned and stared at the plastered teenager and sweatdropped. "YES, COME IN, COME IN NOW!"

He continued walking.

Harley nearly fell off the seat. "Damn it!"

Integra sighed, shaking her head, looking up when she heard the doors open. She smirked slightly to herself as Maxwell walked in, looking a little disheveled. She was about to say something when,surprisingly, Alexander Anderson walked in after him. Harley actually shrieked when she saw the tall man.

She was so small, he was a giant compared to her.

Integra clamped a hand over her mouth as Maxwell spotted her and approached with narrowed eyes. "Hellsing," He said.

"Maxwell," She replied.

Harley pulled the woman's hand off of her mouth and stared at Maxwell. "Hey, you aren't old!" She exclaimed, and he stared at her, along with Anderson. "And neither are you!"

"Harley!" Integra hissed. "Behave yourself!"

"And who would this be?" Maxwell asked, crossing his arms and looking at Integra. "She's not a vampire-"

"No shit, Sherlock," Harley answered, crossing her own arms and standing up on the bench. "Name's Harley Sunderland." She looked over his shoulder over at Anderson, who looked a little bit uncomfortable. "And who are you?"

"Alexander Anderson," He replied, smiling a little at her. She blinked and climbed off of the bench, onto the floor. She looked up at him with wide eyes, and he looked down at her.

"...You're really tall..."

"...An' ye're very short..."

They regarded each other for a moment while Integra suddenly got an idea. It was clear that Harley wasn't going to be able to sit still for very long, so why not keep her entertained at the Vatican's expense? "Harley, I think I saw a music store nearby..." She started, noticing how the teen perked up instantly. "Why don't you go and see what they have?"

Harley was instantly picking her back pack but then grabbed Anderson's arm. "Sure! And this guy'll come with me, since I'm so young and helpless!" She said, grinning and tugging. The priest blinked and looked at Maxwell, who nodded and sneezed suddenly.

"That's strange..." He murmered as Harley dragged the blonde man out. "I never sneeze unless cats are around..."

Integra grinned.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter has been late, but my brain's been hurting lately... x-x I hope you all forgive me! o.o And there's a second part to this chapter, but me'sa hope that you guys like this part. The next part will be my favorite, I can't wait to get started.**

**Excuse me if anyone is terribly OOC, but it's thundering outside. OO And I'm scared of thunder. You know the drill!**

**Adios! (Oh, one more thing: I got an account on deviant Art. o.o I'll put that link up also.)**


	14. Authoress Note II

This is Itaki, Relics' beta.

Relics' computer is fried, and thus is dead. And, unlike Alucard, this is dead without the "un-" before it. Relics doesn't know how long its going to take.

She says that she's sorry-- **REALLY** sorry-- and that as soon as she gets a new computer, she'll get the chapter up as soon as possible. And when she gets it back, updates will come once or twice a month. She really hates this.

Again, she's very sorry about this.

This message will be deleted within a week.

**Harley:** DARN IT! I wanna know how my date with Father Anderson went! snap

**Everyone:** O-O WHAT!

**Father Anderson:** WHAT date!

**Harley:** I like blondes... xD

Will Relics' new computer ever come? How long can Father Anderson endure Harley! Will Maxwell learn about Mince? And, most importantly, will Harley ever see her un-named, mystery blonde guy ever again? Find out in the next installment, which won't be coming out anytime soon-- unless Relics makes Itaki type everything up!


End file.
